Sadness Lingering

I try every day to "look on the bright side"... but try as I might, I feel a sense of sadness that just lingers on and on...
But wait... nothing is new here.  I have always felt sad.  Melancholy is how I've been described.  Even though my nickname in high school was "smiles" because I always had a smile on my face (didn't talk, just smiled) but inside, like two best friends, my happiness was always holding hands with sadness.  On the outside, away from home, I was happy, but inside I cried and was sad.
Nothing has changed.  I know this is grief and leftover pain from an unhappy, abusive life growing up right through my 20's & early 30's.  Now that the serious drama is over (my life is safe now) I still wake up feeling sad, sad, sad.  Not depressed, just sad.  Too much loss, heartache and stress.  The pain is getting easier to bear as I get older, but the sadness and pain is always just below the surface. 
It's okay.  Sad is okay.  For now.  I can't ALWAYS be happy.  Besides, it feels better somehow... a place where nothing is hidden or forgotten.  I'll be okay... today I can let myself feel how I feel... and it's okay.