Sadness
I got into the highschool monday morning to have a bit of shocking news dropped in my lap. The sister of a former student told me that he died over the weekend in a motorcycle accident. I was in shock. I was just thinking about him over the weekend. The young lady is in shock of course and I felt badly that I could not of been more comfort to her. These things happen in life for whatever reason God sees for it to. I often wonder about my life and if it is worth it. Am I living it right? I spend all of my time working. I have little or not contact with my own children. There is no significant other in my life, not much of chance of that happening. Wonder if you will what it comes down to. What contribution have I made. Is happiness a thing I can have. Will love find me or pass me by. Time takes time. And time will tell.
Replies
i am truly sorry to hear about the pain for you and this young lady. Life passing at a young age is a sadness. As for you, life is ALWAYS worth it! Happiness comes from your spirituality with God, not from the things or people that surround us. Stumbling blocks are all a part of life, as my daughter tells me when i am bummed up - mom if life was perfect, why would we need heaven? You don\'t have to worry about what contributions you\'ve made in the world, you have to wonder have you done what God has guided you to do and have you pleased him. Contributions don\'t get you to heaven, serving your God is what gets you to heaven, and sometimes God\'s direction for service is contribution in someway,but not always. You know in your heart if you are living right. Right now you are staying sober,that\'sthe first step to living right. THe contact with your children will come back in due time. Maybe it\'s been a little rough, but had you been able to continue see your children, you may not have had the motivation to progress so far in your sobriety. Staying sober for you had a goal, to see your children - for most of us, staying sober just means to save our lives, you mention it over and over, you have to stay sober to see your kids - i am hoping that once your goal is accomplished that you can maintain the sobriety you\'ve achieved. People don\'t need significant others in their lives, until God is ready to put them there. People are sometimes removed from our lives and others not put into our lives so that we can focus on our relationship with God - when God feels you are ready, you will be surprised, somebody will appear in your life, but now you have many obstacles to overcome, maintaing sobriety, building a strong relationship with the higher power, financial regrowth, and mending and beginning a relationship with your children - that\'s a handful in itself - having a significant other doesn\'t really seem like the right thing at this moment, your plate seems pretty full. You don\'t want the wrong significant other to be by your side, you truly want to wait and have God place the right one there when you are ready - when he\'s ready he will give you that gift. As I put on my status many times: THE GREATEST PART OF OUR HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON OUR DISPOSITIONS, NOT OUR CIRCUMSTANCES ---- Martha Washington - Joe you can have all the happiness you want - you are just choosing not to have it. Think of all the wonderful things you have and how lucky you really are: You have life, you have children, you have sobriety, you have a place to stay, you have a job, you have transportation, you have the opportunity for a second chance, you have support, you have the ability to see life in young people and teach them, you have health (meaning you aren\'t hooked up to a life support machine), you have a church home, you are lucky enough to be alive enough to feel pain and experience happiness and sadness and grief, this is good - it shows you have a heart and soul, do you know how many people in the world do not have one of those?, you survived the hurricane, your children survived the hurricane, if you look around you and see all that you truly have compared to what you don\'t have you will be surprised. Don\'t seek thelove you desire, seek your inner peace, your strength with God, you desire and will to be a good person, a good father and love WILL find it\'s way to you - that\'s one thing about sobriety - we think, ok, we are sober and i am sorry for all the bad stuff in my life, and we just think all the good should begin happening immediately - that\'s one reason relapse is sooo common - cuz it doesn\'t happen immediately. If you are serving your God in a sober state, then you are living right - The most important Judge is God, and no one else - you do the right thing, the Godly thing and you serve in this world with the gifts he\'s gifted you - he will bless you both here and forever - Staying positive in this world today is very difficult, but we must each day awake and be grateful and thankful for what we have been given, the chance of life for that day and the things around us - when we say it outloud and praise to God for all we have each day, we hear it, we become more appreciative and then we pray to God and ask for his guideance through out the day. We pray to cast the demons away from us, we pray for God to guide us in everything we do, every decision we make and everything we say. you know the drill, you\'ve completed the 12 steps,and maybe now it\'s time to go back and do them again. Have you done the 40 days of Purpose - that\'s a good one to do along with reading Battlefield of the Mind - this will help with gaining happiness. Death always brings a slap of reality to us - but you shouldn\'t be concerned with what is passing you by here on earth, but more concerned is it God that you are making happy,is it God that you are pleasing and if your day comes at the snap of a finger, will you have satisfy God in order to seek eternal life in Heaven. For me, i know I will never live in the penthouse of heaven, but I truly feel that I will make it to heaven, even if it is just to sit at the doorstep of the penthouse - Hang in there my friend, you are doing a good job, just going through a tough time, the TRUTH will prevail, if you are truly SOBER, through body, mind and soul, it will show thru - if you are only SOBER through abstinence and what you think is body,mind and soul - it will show thru - Remember you were a great comfort to the sister, you were there, you listened and she knows she can come to you and talk if she needs to - you were there plenty for her. We all say that, i wish I could\'ve done more, been there more, etc., but what exactly is that and what does that mean? When we express our concern, care and love for someone and pray for them, we\'ve done quite a bit, it just doesn\'t show right away.
Peace and blessings to you always!