Sadderday
Dearest,
You scared the crap out of me! There I was, typing away on the computer and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw you coming up behind me. I turned to smile, there was no one there and reality just came crashing over me. I got goose bumps and a weird chill. It took me quite awhile to recover from that one! Please don’t do that any more.
I was gathering the trash and recycling today getting stuff together to run to the dump and other errands. It was 14° out there so, not helping. I was just about done, the truck was even warmed up when I noticed that my hair was all messed up, I looked like a wild man. I reached for my comb, no comb, and worse no wallet. No wallet equals no license and no CC’s. Tried to go back into the house for my wallet, the door was locked, of course I slammed it because it was cold! No keys! Took inventory, no money, no phone, no ID. Panic! Got in the truck to warm up, I remembered something that I used to do called thinking but I couldn’t remember how to do it. I think it involved my brain somehow, haven’t heard from that in weeks. That’s why I asked you to unlock the door. All the windows except the bathroom were locked. As I was trying to think I recalled that both the basement and shed were open – tools! I had access to tools, and ladders. Rather than slit the screen on the bathroom window I decided to try to force the lock on the door. What a time I had doing that, yes the door that pops open all by itself every now and then. Did it though, went inside, warmed up and collected everything that I needed. I am not going to survive without a brain, especially in this weather! I have to learn to pay attention somehow, relearn. It’s scary!
Those are my scary stories. Some one told me that when I care about some one, I totally care about them. That I am an, “all or nothing” guy. I never considered that there was any other way to be. I wonder if that’s a bad thing? I’ve always been that way as long as I can remember. Makes sense to me, explains why I always hurt so much when I lose someone. I’m going to9 Kristin’s tomorrow for Pat’s birthday, really I’m going to play with the grandsons (thing1 and thing2) for awhile. I threw your calendar away, the one from last year, cried, as you know.
Till the Snow stops falling, Your Ken
You scared the crap out of me! There I was, typing away on the computer and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw you coming up behind me. I turned to smile, there was no one there and reality just came crashing over me. I got goose bumps and a weird chill. It took me quite awhile to recover from that one! Please don’t do that any more.
I was gathering the trash and recycling today getting stuff together to run to the dump and other errands. It was 14° out there so, not helping. I was just about done, the truck was even warmed up when I noticed that my hair was all messed up, I looked like a wild man. I reached for my comb, no comb, and worse no wallet. No wallet equals no license and no CC’s. Tried to go back into the house for my wallet, the door was locked, of course I slammed it because it was cold! No keys! Took inventory, no money, no phone, no ID. Panic! Got in the truck to warm up, I remembered something that I used to do called thinking but I couldn’t remember how to do it. I think it involved my brain somehow, haven’t heard from that in weeks. That’s why I asked you to unlock the door. All the windows except the bathroom were locked. As I was trying to think I recalled that both the basement and shed were open – tools! I had access to tools, and ladders. Rather than slit the screen on the bathroom window I decided to try to force the lock on the door. What a time I had doing that, yes the door that pops open all by itself every now and then. Did it though, went inside, warmed up and collected everything that I needed. I am not going to survive without a brain, especially in this weather! I have to learn to pay attention somehow, relearn. It’s scary!
Those are my scary stories. Some one told me that when I care about some one, I totally care about them. That I am an, “all or nothing” guy. I never considered that there was any other way to be. I wonder if that’s a bad thing? I’ve always been that way as long as I can remember. Makes sense to me, explains why I always hurt so much when I lose someone. I’m going to9 Kristin’s tomorrow for Pat’s birthday, really I’m going to play with the grandsons (thing1 and thing2) for awhile. I threw your calendar away, the one from last year, cried, as you know.
Till the Snow stops falling, Your Ken
Replies
Hi Ken,
Know what you mean...wish my brain fog would lift so I\'d remember to get all the things I need when I go somewhere, get out the door, into the vehicle and then I think about what I left inside... so it\'s either forget all about it or go back in and get it. Big pain in the butt, getting tired of it but that\'s the way it is at the moment. Take care, stay warm...hugs, Sandi
Oh yeah, I can relate. Locked myself out of the house too. Had to slit the screen and it took forever to have it fixed again. Lost my car keys - twice! House keys once. Haven\'t seen my sweetie around the house - that was just in the first weeks. But I do feel him in my heart.
I hate this freezing weather too!
Hugs,
Ken,
One of my greatest fears is locking myself out of the house! I double check and then check again do I have my keys??? Of course I do this AFTER I lock the door. Brain Fog... it\'s a terrible thing.
When is your birthday? LOL.. just asking.. because according to my astrological sign I am loyal, honest, blah, blah to a fault. Me; I love, forever.. Taurus.
Just wondering if anything has any meaning anymore.
Linda
PS. Jim leaves me reminders all time that he is near. Sometimes scary, sometimes so peaceful and joyful, it makes me cry.
Call me anytime.
Linda
P
i can relate. I read a grief pamphlet that says we are all going through brownouts. It is when our brains are over loaded with emotions and they literally shut down. I have to make a list of things I need/want to do, otherwise I will just be wandering around the house trying to figure out what I am looking for...and sadly, I am only 34 (tomorrow) so yikes!!!
I am glad it all worked out and you were able to get back in the house. i can\'t even imagine 14 degree weather. i am cringing at 32 degrees here in Texas. Sending you hugs, Renee\'
We are all suffering from the same Fog..must be nationwide. I always write the date I pay a bill on the statement. Did that last month on two credit card statements and filed them away. This month the statements came with past due amounts, late fees, and interest charges. Seems I forgot to make the actual payment! I got off easy this time, the CC companies waived all charges. Hope your weather gets better soon!
Ken, I always get a chuckle from your posts, but today it was both pain and laughs. The 2 counseling sessions I had, she asked if I thought I would see my husband in the house. My mind tells me no, but when I walk down my hall to go in the bedroom, I always get a feeling he is right around the corner.
I have a fear of locking myself out of my house also. I just had the door replaced, so now it\'s double check everytime I leave. I have extra keys in my purse, just in case. As the brain goes, I put everything in my phone in the calender, with an alarm that goes off 30 minutes before I\'m supposed to be somewhere. It\'s hell getting old. I wish you spring. I just can\'t imange living where it gets so cold. The one good thing is you actually have seasons. Right now, I\'m sure that means snow, but soon you will have spring again.
Paula
I have locked myself out of the house and car before. Thing is hubby was at work but came to help me each time. I am afraid of so many things like that now. Like you I am all or nothing type person too. Also thought that was how one should be.
Cie
Ken, You sure have a way with words. I haven\'t locked myself out of anything yet because I always double check everything to the point that I think I might have ocd. Your devotion to Abby is wonderful and I feel the same about Rodger. He was my first and forever love. Diane