Sad, sad day

Well the Doctors were wrong. My wonderful brother in law passed away. To make matters worse, his funeral was on the one year anniversary of my husband death. I had to go to the funeral. I loved my brother in law like a brother. I have known him since I was 8 years old. He was more like a brother. I had to go also to support my nieces and nephew. Oh what a sad day it was. It also poured rain. I'm glad I was there for my family as my sister (their Mom) passed away 6 years ago. Yes they are grown adults but loss is so hard. My bil was a marine. He was also in the Secret Service. He had honor guard from the Secret Service on each side of the casket and they played taps and folded the flag and presented it to his eldest son at the grave site. It was nice. I know he is with my sister Pat again as he should be. This year would have marked their 55th wedding anniversary. 
It seems like every time I turn around I am loosing someone I love. It's sad, so sad. 
I didn't forget my wonder husband Brownie even with all the things happening with the funeral, burial, reception etc. I think the tears I shed at the funeral were for both Brownie and Ike (my bil) Brownie will I ever stop missing you? My life is just existing from day to day.  I miss you more then ever. I just feel lost, really, really lost. It seems to get worse each day instead of better.  I try. I go out. I do things. Nothings helps. God give me strength to deal with this pain and loss.