Sad Day tomorrow

Tomorrow will mark the 1 year anniversary as to when I had my BFP which a few weeks later led to miscarriage. It really seems like just yesterday all this happened. I remember the roller coaster of emotions: the excitement then the stress then the disappointment then the unbelievable sadness. I remember feeling pregnant and how much I LOVED the feeling. I never had morning sickness, but my taste buds started changing and I just felt pregnant; I felt SO ALIVE and felt so blessed from God and felt like for the first time that I had purpose in this world. Unfortunately all that excitement had to end prematurely. 
Today is so different. I thought I would be pregnant again by now and I am not. In fact I am starting to think that I did not even ovulate this month. I have been tracking my temps and they are all over the place. So, I guess it is annovulation:( I dont really know what the deal is unless my basal temp. is broken...LOL. Today my sister is pregnant and is due in a few weeks. I will be going to celebrate the birth of her baby...he baby is due around the time that I miscarried. So bitter and sweet. I am not sure how I will handle holding her new baby in my arms while knowing a year ago I miscarried my little one(s), the thought makes me tear up! Oh gosh, this is going to be hard. But I have to make it through and love my little nephew, and be excited for his birth!