Sad and Scared Cheater

There is a special hell on earth for cheaters.  I know, because I am one and I'm in it.  I loathe cheaters, and yet I am one.  It is a weak and despicable condition.  I lack the traits that I find most admirable and I am profoundly disappointed in myself. I have hurt people I love and I repeatedly act in a manner that is not consistent with the person I long to be.  I have tried and failed to reform, to change for the better, and this saddens me.  I am so sorry for the wake of destruction that I leave in my path.  I ought not be with anyone, but I quake in fear at the thought of being alone.  Today is a very dark day, because I lost another important relationship due to my failure to master my demons.  I feel very alone at this moment.  I know the work that lies ahead and am already weary at the thought of it. 

For anyone else out there feeling the same, I wish you godspeed on your path to peace.  You are not alone.