sad day
just a sad day...it is really happening and i don't really know how to handle it. steve is really moving out and i won't see the kids like i have. it rips my heart out. i need them in my life and theirs will go one but i hurt so bad that i will have to find a way to fill the void. i started reading lately and i have lost interest in it. i knew this day was going to happen but i guess i thought things would be the same with the kids. that i would have them still at night while their parents are working but i overheard that the kids are going to the other grandparents when steve works and the sad part of that is they don't even want to have them and i do. i still have to deal with andreas letter and my next therapy is on wednesday and now i have two major issues to talk about. oh help what should i do? have him split the 40 minutes in half or try to make it another week to talk about the kids?? i just and stuck in a rut being run over by a flood of emotions. i hate today it brings me to the depth of depression. how soon will i pull myself up? i hope that the meds i take will help with the extra stress. i guess i can start going through the toys and boxing half of them up. i will have nate to get me by, but he lives in his own little world. he is an only child and entertains himself and doesn't like crayons and other art supplies like ash and nick do. how do i get over this one? one tear falls then two oh when is it going to stop hurting???pain is all that i am feeling. back to reading or house cleaning and distracting myself.........hugs to all
Replies
Well, it seems that you have been distracting yourself for some time. There is much for you to deal with and to learn now about yourself and, well, it is time for you NOT to be distracted and to concentrate more on yourself for a while. You have plenty of people around you questioning you but you also don\'t seem to be questioning yourself! Introspection and knowing ourselves is the most important thing in our lives and, without it, we are empty shells. Maybe this is an opportunity to face your own demons and to deal with some of your own inner problems. I hope your therapist will give you some Jungian techniques to deal with these things: we are not here for a cure for our own neuroses but to learn how to deal with them so that we can live better lives!
Hugs and hang in there, friend. Neesie
Sending you a bunch of hugs and hopefully things will change and you will see the kids as you do now.
So torn up crying not having them here making a list of things to keep me busy maybe laundry 3 times a week instead 1 keep up on chores (who would think of my place not looking as a daycare ) what do I store what do I keep out how to decide when will I need it me I am sure my thearpist will come up with something I did spend time reading last night on bipolar. But now I am going to look for information on childhood rape why Not open another can of worms or maybe a loss of a child anyway I look at it they are still gone it hurts to know when their mom has them they are just upstairs tears flowing to much to add hugs to you feeder my inner child
I am so sorry you are stressed from this . Ihope you will soon find something or someone to fill the void. HUgs, Raoul