shit....

Tonight at therapy, had some deep shit sub. we talked about..First, my future(to be honest,i just want to cut and die in a hospital), and last..(i brought it up..) about my dad TOUCHING me in a uncomfortable way(when he was drunk)...anyway, i told my therapist about it..and, after that on my way home, mailed my sis..she tried to help...in the end we lost connection. I wanted to cut SO bad, felt stupid i didnt have my blade..for one thing, i know that THERAPY can never ERASE or SOLVE this kind of incedant...fuck,im on my own,and can never get out of this one...im too deep in it..shit, wheres boooze when u need it.  i didnt cut though..