Ruptured disc???

So, now I've gone to the orthopedic surgeon and, based on some things he asked me to do with my right leg (that I couldn't), his educated guess is that I have a ruptured disc.  I'm having a hard time with that idea, knowing all I did was mow my lawn (ok, I did have trouble with my mower and was on and off, and on and off, and holding the seat so it wouldn't go off, which put my back in a bind, I know, but still!!!)!  I won't know for sure until the 26th when I go for the MRI.  Then I'll have to weigh my options, which I don't even want to consider right now.  In the meantime, I'm back at work with reduced hours.  I have to say, my job has been very accomodating.  I now have a loveseat AND a recliner in my office (sitting is the worst thing I do).  The rest of this week I'll be doing paperwork (laying down) - may see a few people Friday.  All my people are glad I'm back.  They all clamored around me when I showed up yesterday, asking "When is my next appointment?"  It felt weird saying, "I'm sorry.  I have no idea right now.  I just have to see how I do and what all I can do."  I plan to file a claim for short term disability since I have the policy and it would have started paying Monday.  It's for 6 months, so hopefully everything will be resolved by then.  If I do have to have surgery (GAK!) I can take family medical leave.  No pay, but I keep my insurance benefits and my job.  It's good to be back at work doing something.  I had started to despair I had been home and flat on my back for SO LONG (had pneumonia the week before I did this).  Other than coming in the 7th and 8th (the two days AFTER I hurt my back, big mistake) I've been off work from 3/31 until 4/15.  Pain can be such a mind thing.  It really worked on me.  I am not a good patient and I start to feel really sorry for myself after a while.  Living alone, I had to do what I could for myself.  Since coming back here and allowing others to do for me, I've now reached out to my family.  My niece came yesterday, wheeled the trash to the curb, fed my birds, put on a load of laundry and brought stew and roast my sister had made!  My other sister called and offered anything, and my brother called and tried to convince my I just had a pulled muscle.  I really haven't reached out to my friends.  Two are going to be leaving this weekend on vacation for a week, another just got back from vacation.  I don't know, it's hard for me to admit weakness.  I will brag and say that somewhere in my pain fog, I made THREE MONTHS SMOKE FREE (now 3months, 3 days, 12 hours, etc.) and there were many times I thought what comfort smoking might bring.  Then I thought what a lie that really was.  I think it was having all that time behind me and not wanting to start over, and thinking of my DS pals (although I haven't been able to get on-line at home) that got me through it.  Those of you who pray, please remember me in your prayers.  My special friends (you know who you are) thanks for being ya'll and keep up the great quits! 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Bless your heart, carried. You have done so much for so many, let folks take care of you for a while now. I know that\'s difficult for those of us who are helpers, but please allow it. And needing help from time to time is not weakness. None of us are superanything. Allow others to return the service you\'ve provided for so long.

Otherwise, the balance won\'t be restored, the universe will tilt on it\'s axis, and Oh Geez, I don\'t even want to think about that! :-/

I hope that gave you a grin. ;) Blessings and hugs to you, dear lady.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Awwww sweet woman so glad to hear from you. I will pray for you to be walking, skipping through your woodland soon whistling a tune! I encourage you to ask your friends for help and company. I would love to bring you dinner and fold some laundry or whatever if I could and I\'m sure your friends would too. I was cleaning my room yesterday and ran across the National Holiday guided imagery you wrote for me...it was so lovely! See there all the nice things you do, let people do for you! Hang in there and great job on your quit!!!!!!!!!!! I so relate to the concept of not wanting to give up all that time and start over again, that very thing has saved my ass more than once! Hugs & loves!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ah ha, I just read Shevie\'s entry, put a big ol\' grin on my face!
deleted_user
deleted_user

You\'ve got all my sympathy. I\'m so sorry to hear that you have been coping with pain and dealing with doctors and diagnosis. Well, you have to start somewhere in order to get a handle on the problem, so pain and doctors and diagnosis it is! I\'m so glad your family is giving you a hand (and that you are accepting it :) ). Congratulations on reaching three months - that\'s awesome! I\'ll be keeping you in my thoughts.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I feel so bad you are going through all this. You need to ask friends who are close to help. They would feel bad if you didn\'t I guarantee it. I\'m glad you have family close by. And great job hanging in there with your quit, you are truly awesome. You will be in my thoughts and prayers