run away

different month same story.sometimes I feel like for every two steps forward I take I get knocked back three. they keep telling me stand up to ex husband but it emotionally kills me when I fight. he is making our lives hell. I overpaid him 400 a month so he would shut up and leave me alone. finally ten yrs later had balls to pay him what court ordered to and since then it has been hell and then some. wouldn't let me take my kids yesterday an im a hot mess. wiped out tired my kids are my world and reason for what I am today. when I don't have them I am sick. yes I work a lot but doesn't fix me anymore