Ruiner.

I'll call myself the Ruiner because I destroy everything I touch.. My life, my relationships, my family, my children... You would think looking at them I'd want to live more, but the sight of them makes me want to shove the blade deeper into my skin.. What makes me think they'd want a mother like me, they could go to a much better family than crazy old me.. I cry and cry and cry and nine times out of ten I just want to die.. I picture myself holding that knife to my wrist daring myself to push it into me deeper.. Or to take one more hit of the drug that'll keep me alive in hopes that maybe just one time it might make me die..