Rough Time
Again I find myself overwhelmed and alone. I have wanted this chance to start over. Spent so much time caring for all but myself Actually convinced that I could and deserved this chance to reach out and step back into life again.
Have reached out here and made some friends... but all will remain far away . Part of the reason I was doing this was because I felt I still had so much left to give....love and support...but i have craved actually being able to feel that myself. I am feeling like I am kidding myself.
It has been almost two months since i did pay to have the papers drawn up and served. Yet nothing has been served or arrived. I do feel like I am stagnating here... being sucked in . I am so very tired of everything. Just want to curl in a ball and cry. I madeit through Mother's day (which is the hardest thing for me) I did have two bright spots.......One when my "adopted work daughter "did text me in the morning to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. The other was when my 8 yr old great niece gave me (along with all the other ladies) a homemade card that would tell me in detail exactly why she does love me.... and wish me a great day. I did realize i do have things to be thankful for
At this very minute though, I am feeling sucked deepdown in another funk. I have to wonder why it is when there are some people who have love to give do wind up their entire lives with an emptiness that will never be filled. Doesn't make much sense to me.
Replies
Your just getting a divorce, right? Give it time and don't dwell on unhappiness. Make plans, goals and stick with them.
Make a few daily goals to go out meet people, socialize and converse with someone.
Try not to limit yourself with words like, "will never be fulfilled" When you do that, you have no hope. You just need to focus on different things that make you happy are try some new things:)
God Bless
I'm sorry you are struggling. I hope this mood is temporary. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5 I pray that you will find ways to use the many gifts you have to help others. I've found that to be a path to deep satisfaction even in the midst of my own grief. You have much to offer, and so many hurting people need what you have to give. You will be helping each other. Your suffering will then have meaning, even value. Wishing you blessings.
Two months and no service of papers appears way too long to me. I did not have papers served on myself, since we chose the dissolution route. Things will improve for you. Hugs.
You will find that the journey of divorce will be filled with some ups and lots of downs BUT this is temporary! It WILL be hard over the next several months but please don't dwell on these down days. Please know it WILL get better once all is over and the dust has settled. Do not reach too far ahead right now and do not put too much pressure on yourself. Baby steps my friend. What you are going through is mentally and physically trying. If your leg was broken you wouldn't be running a marathon...right? Take a deep breath and take this one small step at a time my friend :)
I agree with many of the above, in particular to reach out to others and get involved. Many times helping others in turn helps ourselves, so looking to help out at a charity, food pantry, church event will ease the pain for a while. But probably most important, look for a support group of people you can see face-to-face, one where people have walked in your shoes and are supportive of your situation. There are many church groups, county groups, and other who do divorce recovery work and help people during these times. As per above, I pray you find ways to use the many gifts you have and in turn the support group to enable you to go through these times.
Certainly some great info....one baby step at a time...Don't jump.in you don't know how deep the water is..lol..
IDK i kind of agree with lb, 2 months is a pretty long time. have you called?
Dear friend, you aren’t kidding yourself. You most certainly deserve a life filled with love and hope. Try not to be too hard on yourself. This transition time will be the hardest of all. Be proud of yourself that you have gotten this far in a relatively short time. Your freedom will be blessed. Your love given will come back. I have died a hundred deaths, waiting for one rebirth. What you seek is not supposed to be easy. Because the rewards are everything. Faith and love. And all my hugs!!!
Thank you all. I have contacted the attorney and ONCE AGAIN she tells me she has the papers and will see that they go out today so he will get them in the next day or so. (It's pretty sad that I have to light a fire under her ass to get her to do anything.)
@foodcoopress.... I have learned many lessons in my life and do try to reach out and share with others . You are right ... doing for others does help give us a sense of ourselves. That has been about all I have.
I am to start divorce care on the 23rd.
Hugs dear friend. We are kind in the same boat. I have so much to give and struggling to do it. Maybe some have been hurt in the past and don't want that again. But I heard a wise thought once--if you get your heart broken, at least you know you have one. It heals slowly and that is the worst part.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers and hugs. They have helped me so much. I am finding my way out of my funk again. Picking myself up by my bootstraps so to speak.... needed to be reminded there are others who do care and had to give me the gentle nudges to move forward (and out of stagnation).