Rough time

I am having a norther rough spell ...I was doing so well and then the migraines  started to get worse ...and my depression got worse and I don't want to go out of the house ....I don't even want to look after my self that hasn't happened for a while .....I can't make decisions and if I do they are the wrong ones and I have so much anxiety over them .....I have got to get my self out of this and back on tract .......my nefue  is in jail he has been on drugs methanfedimins and what ever he can get a hold of for a number of years now he lives with friends mostly we don't know ware he is he doesent want to keep in touch with the family we have all tried at one time to do all we could to help him and he just won't take the help and starting out his life ....I feel very bad for him ....I want to fix him even though I know I can't ......he Cale's the other day and wanted me to bail him out of jail so i said ok .....when my h got home I told him about it and he said no that he was better in jail at least he would get clean ...and that is true ...also he is in there for breaking his ball.requirements ....they will place the same ones back on him so unless I could get him to stay here and watch him he will break he roils of the bail requirements as soon as he can and if he gets caught and he surely will because they will be keeping a eye on him I will louse my money and he will have learned nothing ......so I had my h call the jail yesterday and tell him I wouldn't be there but they don't let anyone talk to the inmates so he said he would give him the menage but my h said he didn't think he would ....so my h went out for gerocies today and while he was gone and I just new it was my nefue ...so I didn't answer the phone I couldn't deal with it I had to go to bed .....and when my h came home I told him about the phone call and it was from the jail ....so I am happy I didn't answer it ..but I am going to have to face him ...sooner or later and sooner is better because at least I know ware to go to see him right now ....that vision I had on my end has relay not been unexpected you would think I could do all I could to extend my life but I am doing the opisit ...is it relay the depression. I know I want to live now I need to get up ....I have to relize I can't help everyone I need to help my self .....I am hiding from  the problems of those I love they are handling there problems .....ever since the rift has opened in my family I haven't been ok ....but I have released though they don't all talk to each-other in there lives they are happy .......I have been taking my antie depressants during the day to help with all the anxiety I think I will stop that and see if that can help me get moving again ......I hate depreashion.....god bless