Rough start

Monday.  Got 3 new fires already today and it is only Monday.  Man.  Phone rang off the hook.  I was so excited to close 3 fires, thinking I would get ahead.  You know, get 2 new ones, close 3 old ones.  Nope!  Cannot get my pile down to save my life.  I am tired.  Tired of not getting a break.  Tired of apologizing for not being able to get my work done (when I have too much to do.)  Behind on my expense reports.  My company probably owes me about $2,000.00 between my phone bills, internet charges (they pay for it since I work from home), mileage, postage, etc.  And I am in trouble for that and I cannot take 1 more "Stop what you are doing and get this done."  I am going to have to have a heart to heart with Paul and try to squish in some extra overtime in.  He is just going to have to pick up the slack around here.  I felt so much better last week.  I spoke too soon.  Got 3 new fires last week as well.  And the more frustrated and backed up I get, the less I get done.   My house is a mess.  It looks like my life feels.  Cluttery!  I spend a whole afternoon cleaning.  it takes me several hours just to pick up the damn clutter before I can clean!  Then I clean and the next day, it looks like I never did anything.  So this past week, with David away, I just did nothing.  I feel so awful!  Eating and exercise just not good.  I have a good day and then a bad day and then a good day and then a bad day.  I need to focus, focus, focus.  I really need to must make myself a priority.   David comes home tomorrow.  I miss him and a part of me can't wait.  And a horrible part of me is going to miss the quiet.  A whole week without tyrades and broken things.  My one pair of headphones is missing.  I searched David's room and did not find them.  But I am fairly certain he has them (or had them.)  But I can't acuse without proof I guess.  But they were my $90 pair of Sony earbuds!!!  And my Denon sport earbuds, he took the little hooks off them (that go around your ears) and lost them!  I got them to go on the treadmill with since they stay in my ear better.  Paul bought new door knobs with locks.  David was in our room again before he went away.  We have a large box in one of my closets in my room that says "gifts" on it.  Over the years, we put stuff in there, like packs of matchbox cars, or handheld games or whatever.  We use them for stocking stuffers or party prizes or if David goes to a birthday party or whatever.  There had to be like 10 multipacks of matchbox cars in there.  Paul found all of the opened packs in David's backpack in his closet!  Now I know why he insisted on using my luggage for the trip and not his backpack!  I just know my headphones are gone.  I love him, but he just makes me so angry sometimes!  And again, more candy wrappers in his room.  He starts school 9/1.  Part of me dreads it with the homework.  Part of me can't wait.  Summer is just a paing trying to get work done with him here.  Let the battles begin! So I guess that is how I feel- battling the world.  Work, customers, my son, my husband.  Even myself.  And I am losing my own battle.  This past week, it was like I just gave up and didn't care.  Burn out across the board is setting in.  I just need a break somewhere.  And Paul is still in his depression and no end of that in site either.  Sheesh! Gonna try to focus on my football game!  Go PSU!  They are favored to win the Big 10 this year!  Paul is looking into getting me a ticket to Florida to see my Dad for a week by myself.  I really think that that is the break I need!  I think October would then give me something to look forward to.   On another note, being a HUGE dog lover, I am totally, totally, totally, pissed off at the Eagles for signing Michael Vick!!!!  Moron should have his toenails pulled off one by one!  I don't care how bad they want to win.  I would rather lose all season.  What he did to those animals is horrific!  They were talking with Coach Andy Reid about second chances.  I can forgive a lot, but abusing animals and children is not one of them.