Rough Night
The snap of my mighty spiffy spandex super cape gained intensity as the day went on yesterday. The text stream from the Urban Homestead was quite active and not too much of it good news. Hubs believes ES is on another crack binge and is having thoughts of kicking him out of the Homestead. My dreams were full of family drama. It is probably just as well that I donae remember many details of the dreams. I would likely be obsessing on finding deep, hidden meanings in the details if I remembered them. Even if the deep, hidden meanings really are there, obsessing on them has yet to produce a workable plan in my life. These days I just let the details of my dream to sink back into my subconscious and trust the important meanings to rise to my consciousness as they are needed.
A thunder storm left the camp drenched this morning. My desert conditioned senses have "felt rain" continually here in the sub-arctic summer, but I prepped the camp for rain before I turned in, despite mistrust of my ability to read the local weather. I was glad I did when the rain started pelting the nylon of the tent around midnight. No damage done but the tent is quite wet this morning. I hate packing a wet tent.
My flight radar is still pointed south, but it still feels like frantic flight rather than intelligent planning. My part in the family dysfunction dance is to drop everything and come a-running at the most trivial of needs. Gee. . . Why don't I have a life? Why are my middle aged children still more dependant children that middle aged adults?
Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer. Prayers in progress.
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(((HUGS)))
sorry Arfie....kids I think will always tear at our heart strings no matter the age or the problem...sadly, I think at least for me I tend to focus on the problems rather than the good times...a work in progress on that one! Don't know, all about situation...sounds like needed tough love.
I envey your travels, as I sit glued to my glider rocking chair...you are so brave and adventurous to do all these travels and camping...my childhood stomping ground for vacations was Portland Maine....Way Way back in the 40's my Grandfather and his two sisters bought a house on the beach, just some dunes and you were in the ocean...colder than all get out! But beautiful miles and miles of soft sand, gathering sand dollars...check it out...Old Orchard Beach
....they have camping grounds about 2 miles from the beach...hum I do have a two person tent, however no one to take care of Chachi and I'd sure as hell not put her in a vet cage for a week...the rain is coming down here too in CT, sorely Needed...my gardens are very happy!
Since Monday I haven't been out of my house or talked to anyone...lost my phone...finally found it yesterday...time to venture out for food....
The therapy echo that nothing is typically the best thing to do when you don't know what to do is winning out. Wish I didn't even have to leave this campsite, but they are booked solid for this weekend. I am hoping I will be able to get a room in one of the two motels I saw in town.
Every echo in my therapy toolbox is saying that I should resist the urge to do that 20 hour drive in a single, super-hero leap. Let grown-ups be grown-up. Even the ones that call me, "Mom."