Rough days and reflection.

Its been a couple days since I have found out about my friend who passed away a year and a half ago.  It has made me quite emotional.  I blame myself for not being a better friend. I know I cannot change that with him at least now.  I hope he does know wherever he is that I am truly sorry for not being a better friend.  I do find comfort that he was loved and liked by many, not just me.  Although it is tragic that he is gone, and he didn't get the chance to live a full life, he also wont have to worry about things like old age, cancer, etc.  I myself will be trying to find peace with his death.  It is hard right now, but I know time will heal.  I wish I could find his mother to at least tell her how sorry I am that he is gone.  I will be trying to do that.  I am still quite sad, and have that lump my my throat anytime you are sad.  I know he wouldn't want me to be sad, I should be happy and live my life to the fullest.  I will get there, its just gonna take some time for me.  I'm going to work on being a better friend to and to let the ones I have know that I love them, and try to spend more quality time with them.