rooms of nothingness
I am so worried about the past coming back up. I have been having these similar feelings and reminders of things that have happened that feel like they were a lifetime ago. I am afraid I am going backwards. I really just want to scream because I don't really know where to go or what to do. I am just afraid of the future and what it will bring. I feel like bad things are going to happen... But how can I even be sure of that? I have been getting in my car and I have been driving around aimlessly. I simply want to keep going but I never have a destination. I have no where to go and no where to be. I keep trying to think of all of the reasons why and other things I should do, but I still just come back to these same feelings. I feel so much heaviness. And I feel so much emptiness. I feel so much worry and sadness. There has to be some kind of "light" in all of this. And even if there isn't a light, maybe its not about getting better, its about learning how to deal with adverse situations.
But right now, I don't have a situation. I feel like I am just in a big open empty space. And no matter where I go, I just go deeper and deeper into the dark empty hole.
Replies
Little bit of darkness is good but you know even the color of black is also composed of many other colors. Though it seems that you are going into a kind of depression you may have to ask yourself the question where am i, why i am doing things, try to rationalize the situation instead of panicking on it. Also if you need to give sometime to yourself you are entitled to so, hence be gentle with yourself don't be so harsh and cruel to yourself, you are important, created with a purpose by God and unique to this world, believe in that...Hugs..
thank you.. I need to keep reminding myself to be kind and no so horrible to myself..
Good to hear that from you, be kind and try to smile ...Hugs..
I"ve been having the same situations afew weeks ago. I think maybe the human brain is easily prone to stuff like that during the holidays. Just remind yourself that the past has to stay in the past, and take your mind off it. Nothing changes when you beat yourself up.
A piece of me to you give up on past cuz it's gone you can't change it and even if you could why would you? grow with it not against it no matter how bad you survived it. Forget the future it isn't here never will be focused on the now pick your and smile you are the very best that you can be at this moment. It doesn't matter what other people think it's what you know.