Roller Coaster Moods Today
So this is my first journal entry. I have been comforted by reading entries by others so thought I would give it a try. I first sought out a group like AA for those who are going through what we are all going through and stumbled upon this website.
This time last year I lost my sweet Abbey (Maltese dog) who had been with me for 17 years. About 6 months later I was faced with my fianance' going to prison. Trust me when I say I was totally shocked! I knew he had gotten a DWI before we met & had been in some trouble early on in his life but had no idea he was facing prison time. In a way the DWI was a blessing because he did quit drinking & attended AA meetings religiously. While waiting to go to court, his attorney had him convinced he was going to get probation and for 2 years took 10's of thousands of $$$ from him. Alcohol ruined a 15-year marriage for me so I would not be with anyone again who drinks & my fianance knows this. I knew my fianance many, many years ago when we were in school & he found me through Facebook shortly after he got his last DWI--we lived only 3 miles from each other in a different city than where we went to school!
Through this I have found a wonderful church and am becoming involved. I have a wonderful family who support me & my fianance'. My son & his girlfriend are pregnant so I have a grandbaby to look forward to.
Today I was very excited because after finally deciding I am ready to adopt another dog, I found a sweet little Maltese through a local humane society & found out that she was still available. So I took off work early and drove out to meet her. Only when I got there & stepped into the lobby there was a lady there holding the same dog I was there to meet & she had just adopted her. :-( I just started crying and left. I was so upset. It took a lot for me to finally decide it is the right time for another dog and just knew this sweet baby was the one for me. I prayed about it for a couple of days and everything seemed to be falling into place...the fact that the dog was still available today was the last sign for me...thus my decision to leave work early to go meet her. This breed does not come through shelters often and when they do they go fast. I just have to believe that God has other plans for me.
My fianance called just now which helped cheer me up and I get to see him tomorrow. We don't have contact visits because I am not seen as immediate family in the prison systems eyes. I don't care as long as I get to see him. I haven't been able to touch his sweet face since early March but once he gets his Trustee status and is moved...well, I can't wait!
Everyone take care...God Bless!
This time last year I lost my sweet Abbey (Maltese dog) who had been with me for 17 years. About 6 months later I was faced with my fianance' going to prison. Trust me when I say I was totally shocked! I knew he had gotten a DWI before we met & had been in some trouble early on in his life but had no idea he was facing prison time. In a way the DWI was a blessing because he did quit drinking & attended AA meetings religiously. While waiting to go to court, his attorney had him convinced he was going to get probation and for 2 years took 10's of thousands of $$$ from him. Alcohol ruined a 15-year marriage for me so I would not be with anyone again who drinks & my fianance knows this. I knew my fianance many, many years ago when we were in school & he found me through Facebook shortly after he got his last DWI--we lived only 3 miles from each other in a different city than where we went to school!
Through this I have found a wonderful church and am becoming involved. I have a wonderful family who support me & my fianance'. My son & his girlfriend are pregnant so I have a grandbaby to look forward to.
Today I was very excited because after finally deciding I am ready to adopt another dog, I found a sweet little Maltese through a local humane society & found out that she was still available. So I took off work early and drove out to meet her. Only when I got there & stepped into the lobby there was a lady there holding the same dog I was there to meet & she had just adopted her. :-( I just started crying and left. I was so upset. It took a lot for me to finally decide it is the right time for another dog and just knew this sweet baby was the one for me. I prayed about it for a couple of days and everything seemed to be falling into place...the fact that the dog was still available today was the last sign for me...thus my decision to leave work early to go meet her. This breed does not come through shelters often and when they do they go fast. I just have to believe that God has other plans for me.
My fianance called just now which helped cheer me up and I get to see him tomorrow. We don't have contact visits because I am not seen as immediate family in the prison systems eyes. I don't care as long as I get to see him. I haven't been able to touch his sweet face since early March but once he gets his Trustee status and is moved...well, I can't wait!
Everyone take care...God Bless!
Replies
Wow...our stories are so similar it is scary...I am glad you were here tonight...I have been having a bad day and it is a nice reminder that I am not alone..Pretty much same story with my husband, DUII and never for a second would have thought this would happen..I literally got a call that he was not coming home and was looking at two years...He is now in a program so by the time this is done he will be home in a year and a few months...It brought my life to a halt..I was devestated .. angry...sad..just plain nuts!!! I reached out to a few people in the community but when they asked how they could help I HAD NO IDEA!! I did not want money or anything they had..I found what I needed in this site..I am so greatful!!
I am also a dog lover..I have three...which is why I was very hesitant when a friend called me a couple weeks ago to tell me about a dog that was going to be put to sleep because she was PREGNANT! The animal shelters don\'t take pregnant dogs because they don\'t get the care or nuturing the puppies need to thrive...well long story short I now have her..and while visiting my husband last weekend she delivered all 7 puppies in my motel room!! They never would have been born and the cute little Mama would be gone if I had not had my crazy love for them .. and I am not even sure if this would have came about if my husband had been home..I think it was one of the many blessings I have been given.. I also share your faith..I have always known there was a God but this has made me feel his presence in my life every day.. A strong knowing that I will be okay and this is all part of his plan.. I think you are right in knowing that little dog was a sign..maybe just a way to let you know that you are ready..In my case my dogs found me...
I am sorry you don\'t have contact visits..I have never heard of a place that does not allow that unless you are \"family\"...that just makes no sense..My husband had also quit drinking before this happened and we did not see this coming and I did not see a reason..but as he has been in this treatment program I see so much growth in so many areas.. I think we will butt heads when he gets home because he was sorta a know it all before getting schooled :) I think we can handle it though..
Hang in there and please keep us all posted on your hunt for the perfect companion..My dogs have really kept me sane and provided so much comfort during this whole nightmare.. Sorry for writing a novel, I tend to ramble but you sounded down and I can really relate to all you have been through! Hang in there!!
Miskim, thanks for your response. Your story does sound very similar. I do have one dog at home, my fiance\'s dog. Although I love him dearly he\'s a big dog & I miss having a small lap dog. Right now my fianc is in a transfer facility awaiting his Trustee status & transfer to a Trustee facility. Once he has Trustee status then all his visits will be contact. This whole thing has disheartened me to the whole legal process-this from the daughter of a policeman. Go figure!
I haven\'t told many of my friends or even all of my family what has happened because I don\'t want people judging my fianc.
What an experience for you being around those new puppies! Glad you are a dog lover too! Motel room? You must have to travel quite a distance to visit your husband. Right now I drive 130 miles one way to visit for 2 hours, with glass between us no less. Its worth it though when I see his eyes light up & that smile on his face when he sits down across from me. :-)))
Hope you have a great weekend!
Hello, Glad you are here. It really helps. We all find it comforting because no one judges, we are all in the same boat.
Mine is in for a DUI, he had ONE beer, was on probation, one month left on probation. He should of got just a probation violation, but they called it an Offense, and gave him 4 years, after the 1yr 3mos, 13 days. He now got told he would get early release program, which is going into treatment for 6 months in Feb, then home in Aug... but now we find out the head people at the DOC have the final say, so he could still end up with 3 more years. It\'s awful. He had been in for 2 years, out 11 months, then bam!
It\'s not like he wasn\'t sort of asking for it. Never stopped drinking. But ONE beer right before he got pulled over got him all of this.
I wish I could have a dog. I had to give my baby up 3 years ago when I had to move to an apartment. So sad still about missing my Shadow. She was a black lab mix, but still liked to cuddle on the couch with me, head in my lap. She hugged. Really! She would come up to me if I was crying on the couch, sit up on her hind legs and wrap her front legs around my neck. The worse thing was to hand her to a stranger that my mom arranged to take her. She was such a comfort when he was gone before. ( Oh boy this is making me boo hoo alot)
If I had her now, I would feel better. I want another one. Can\'t have one where I am now either. People can have cats, but not dogs. I hate cats. They roam around the whole trailer park, get into garbage. Dogs are chained up.They don\'t roam around.
That\'s interesting you are seeing a different side now, being a daughter of a cop.
No, not many know I am still with mine because they judged so harshly the other times.
I get to see mine about 3 times a week. It is 110 miles one way.
We just were discussing tonite, when he is out, getting it together financially, then buying some sort of boarding house type place. Well, not exactly. A place with a row of rooms, similar to the old motels on the highway, but small rooms, with just a bed, tv and microwave, no frills. They would be cheap, for families of prisoners when they drive far and don\'t want to drive home. We would have a couple bigger ones for other people, for more money, but prison families would get them VERY cheap, way below motel prices. There is a need. We would not intend to get rich off of them, just cover our expenses.
He hates how I have to drive so far, in the dark, with deer jumping out. Winter drives are treacherous, and scary. A 2 hour drive took me 5 hours in the winter. Accidents and cars in ditches all over. We would spread the word amongst prisoners somehow, about the place.
Someone has to start realizing we are out there, we are broke, and need help, we are depressed and need support groups to physically go to. I am going to go to our county soon and talk to anyone about it that will listen.
We used to have the non contact visits. They sucked but so do these, because yea you can touch them, but only a quick hug and kiss, no normal life stuff.
I have been real down lately. Alot of people on here have been. Two years 4 months, 2 days so far, and no end in sight.
Mine had a heart attack in prison 2 months ago, and no one called to tell me.
I hope you find another dog soon. I wish I could.
Hi and welcome. We don\'t judge hear and we get the same feeling from time to time it helps being hear.
I hope you get contact visits soon and you can find another little dog as well Iam sure one will trun up soon for you. Wish I could have one but there\'s no way I can afford to look after one right now besaids I don\'t think mums pet shep would like it to much! Lol
Keep coming hear and we will support you as much as we can.
Yep..I have to drive 300 miles each way so it limits my visits to once a month..for me that too is a blessing..I think for me going every weekend or every other weekend would wear on me..We actually played a board game the last time I saw him and we never have done that on a visit.. it made me really sad because it felt so \"normal\" and I missed him being home..Yep the little dog had her puppies while I was away visiting him right there in the hotel..I laughed and asked the clerk if I had to pay a fee for 8 instead of 1 dog..they are really cute..Mama dog looks like a Yorkie only a little bigger and we have no idea what the dad was..she was abandon and living under an empty house for 4 months so she has been through alot..it makes me happy to have her to nurture and help gain trust in people again..she is a sweetie but she is like a shadow to me now, I almost trip over her all the time..she is really sweet and the rescue shelter is going to fix her and all the puppies so I don\'t have to do all the hard stuff..My husband just laughed when I told him..he knows who he married :) I think you will be so much happier when you have in person visits..a hug is a huge thing when you have not been able to touch them for so long... Yep..it has been a crazy year and I have about 3 1/2 months to go..I can\'t complain about that after all this time but it will be a sad holiday season..I thought about writing a Christmas letter to my close friends and family that know our situation just telling them about our year (quite different from the traditional Christmas letters) but sharing our experience and all that we have overcome..thanking the ones that have been supportive..I don\'t blame you for not telling everyone, only those that need to know need to know..Have a great weekend and I am sorry that little dog did not work out for you..hope one finds you soon..I have a Lab, pug and Llasa Apso..the little dogs are way different I see why you want one..
Ladies, thanks for your comments & for sharing! Today I saw my sweetie. He told me that only the place he is now limits your contact visits to only family members, no other unit does this.
God bless you all!