Roller Coaster
My DH must have a keystroke logger on my computer...lol Every time I sit down and write about how we are drifting apart, he comes out of the blue with some affection and a tender message. Or maybe we are both just riding this roller coaster of emotions with all the crud we have going on?
I sat down about 1 hr ago and wrote a journal entry about how he has been acting very strange and pulling away and I even wondered if it was a deliberate way to ensure we do not get pregnant right now. Then my computer flipped out and my entry got lost (you should all be grateful...lol it was a BUNCH of whining). In disgust, went into the kitchen to tend to the dishwasher, which needed unloading and he suddenly came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.
QUICK HISTORY: We have been VERY VERY distant since we supposedly "reconciled"...he hasn't been receptive to me at all. He said he forgave me, but he was still so hurt by the horrible thing I said. (BTW, I think you ladies are right...he is just hurt because it is TRUE and he feels bad that he is relieved..even on the most minute level...that Matthew is gone.)
Anyhow, it is out of nowhere that he wants to be lovey-dovey again...which is fine with me. Of course he clarified that he is back to not wanting to TTC, (he was only on the Pro-side of it for a few minutes anyway). When you are dying to have a baby, there is nothing more loving that your DH can say, right? Oh well. I do treasure him. I am praying for him.
I sat down about 1 hr ago and wrote a journal entry about how he has been acting very strange and pulling away and I even wondered if it was a deliberate way to ensure we do not get pregnant right now. Then my computer flipped out and my entry got lost (you should all be grateful...lol it was a BUNCH of whining). In disgust, went into the kitchen to tend to the dishwasher, which needed unloading and he suddenly came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.
QUICK HISTORY: We have been VERY VERY distant since we supposedly "reconciled"...he hasn't been receptive to me at all. He said he forgave me, but he was still so hurt by the horrible thing I said. (BTW, I think you ladies are right...he is just hurt because it is TRUE and he feels bad that he is relieved..even on the most minute level...that Matthew is gone.)
Anyhow, it is out of nowhere that he wants to be lovey-dovey again...which is fine with me. Of course he clarified that he is back to not wanting to TTC, (he was only on the Pro-side of it for a few minutes anyway). When you are dying to have a baby, there is nothing more loving that your DH can say, right? Oh well. I do treasure him. I am praying for him.
Replies
I\'m glad that he was affectionate with you. I know things must feel so out of sorts still. You two are in my prayers..
Luv and hugs
I\'m praying for him and your family. I\'m happy that he showed you some affection. whether he want to TTC or not you still need that. I really believe that you and your DH have something so special. The way you talk about him......I pray that everything works out for the best. Something extraordinary will happen for you and your family. I really believe that.
Had to smile when i read this because I\'ve often thought the same thing about spyware/keystroke loggers - right down to the computer acting up as well. LOL. MY dh will be a butt for the longest time, I\'ll type something about it, & a day or so later he does a complete 180 & even tries to talk about the very thing I\'d just typed. It could just be that we have a close bond, & it just takes him a little longer to get on the same page as me. Maybe it\'s the same for your dh? I\'m glad he came around & gave you a much needed hug & kiss when you needed it. I sure hope he finds a job soon! You continue to remain in my prayers.
Thank you all so much! You are truly my FAMILY in so many ways...my true sisters in Christ!! I do so adore my sweet DH...even when I think about hitting him over the head with a skillet...which is EXTREMELY rare...LOL I totally agree heartnbutterfly that it is a close bond that does that! ...or...a keystroke logger...lol J/K.
nice that he\'s trying to connect w/you on some level. My DH has been very distant the last day or so, just don\'t know what to do for him. M/c is rough on marriages for sure. Praying that we all will be able to communicate our feelings in love and support each other through this.