Rocky start to new year

I know I have much to be thankful for, but my mood has spiraled down so low.Depression and anxiety are such personal torture for me. It's hard to share how I feel when I get that low. I tend to cave-in and isolate myself. I keep up a strong front, but inside I'm falling apart. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of recovering, but it doesn't take much to slide back right now. I wish I could gain control. Most of my issues are situational right now, but I feel like I'm just one step away from living on the street. I have an appointment to see my therapist today, but I'm even embarrassed to tell him how I'm feeling. I've come a long way, but I feel like I'm sliding backward.

Replies

ChuckStraight
ChuckStraight

I\'ve been having some problems with my son lately. He\'s a very intelligent boy, but he\'s lazy and self-absorbed (just the usual teenager in some ways I guess).

I think when two parents are divorced, it always puts an incredible strain on the child, who feels trapped between pleasing one side or the other. I\'ve always tried to avoid criticizing my ex whenever possible. But my son complains about the same issues I found to be the most problematic with her; bossy, domineering, arrogant, callous, selfish, lashing out physically at times. It\'s hard for me to listen to him without agreeing she has a problem she refuses to admit to.

Up until just recently, I\'ve been taking him to a therapist to work on communicating his feelings. My ex wasn\'t supportive of him going, and neither was his primary physician for some reason. The doctor\'s only explanation was that; if he didn\'t want to go, it was just a waste of time. His therapist moved to another office out of the area, and I\'m looking for another one close to us. A couple of different therapists have been suggested to me by my own therapist.

He\'s been telling lies lately about a number of things, and I hate feeling as though I can\'t trust him anymore. I always knew his mother could make him do just about anything by nagging him enough, but now I believe he complains about me just to make her feel he\'s on her side. My ex tells me things he\'s supposedly said that really surprise me. I\'ve always tried to make him comfortable telling me anything (even if I didn\'t like what he had to say) and I\'d hate to think he wasn\'t communicating with me. I want him to be comfortable telling me the truth, but now I have to figure out what the truth really is. He tells me one thing, but it sounds like he\'s telling her something else.
L8bloomer
L8bloomer

I don\'t know if I have much to offer for advice. It seems you are doing all the right things. Teenage years are tough. It\'s too bad you have to sleuth for the truth, but as I recall...I wasn\'t exactly forthcoming to my parents at that age either.

I think your strategy of not bad-mouthing his mother is wise. He\'s in the phase of finding is own identity outside of you and his mother. Share with him how YOU coped with her without ripping on her. Tell him you want to be there to help if he\'ll let you. It might lead to a mutually beneficial understanding you can share as you both establish trust on that front.

Making mistakes is part of growing and learning. Do what you can, express your love, and hope for the best.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Feeling a bit voyeuristic tonight. I am \"catching up\" on reading journal entries. I just read yours. I was wondering how your son is doing? Any improvement in any area. I never had to endure parent\'s divorce, but had to endure therapists. There are good ones out there, but finding the right on is crucial. Anyway, I hope things are better. Maybe time has helped too. I don\'t know. Although it\'s not a panacea, it usually does.