Rocky start to new year

I know I have much to be thankful for, but my mood has spiraled down so low.Depression and anxiety are such personal torture for me. It's hard to share how I feel when I get that low. I tend to cave-in and isolate myself. I keep up a strong front, but inside I'm falling apart. Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of recovering, but it doesn't take much to slide back right now. I wish I could gain control. Most of my issues are situational right now, but I feel like I'm just one step away from living on the street. I have an appointment to see my therapist today, but I'm even embarrassed to tell him how I'm feeling. I've come a long way, but I feel like I'm sliding backward.