Robby, super boyfriend and complete opposite of Stephen.
As I have said before, I have the most amazing fiance . His name is Robby and he is 28 years old. I do know that I am 5 years younger than he and I know that the constant changes in mood and talks about miscarriages makes him look at me strangely. Out of everything I have been through, he's my rock. God is my foundation, but Robby's my rock and I am so blessed to have him in my life. He told me yesterday, while we were ending our 4 hour long argument over my grief, "I don't believe doctors. YOU ARE going to carry our little chubby babies and they are going to tear you from your V to your A and you are going to blame me for all of it." He makes me laugh, he doesn't understand but he doesn't make it uncomfy. I really want him to be a supporter, but he just doesn't know what to do.
I don't like to compare people, especially ex's. Stephen, my abusive ex was 1 year older than I and was a boxer. He was trained to keep the person he was fighting down, too bad he couldn't be a man and fight men. He had to be a wimp and hit me. Stephen found it in his heart to tell me he loved me about 1 time a month and everywhere I went he would have someone follow me. Stephen was a jerk and all his friends were jerks too. He blamed the abuse on me being a "Whore" and lazy. This man, this one man... that now I can't see how, had complete power over me. Right now in my head, NO ONE HAS POWER but God! I let this child, because most 18-20 year old males aren't yet MEN, beat me and make me beg him to stop. I let him cheat on me in my face, I let him beat my child out of me and I let him be the person that said that HE would KILL ME if I left him.
Robby is the Anti- Stephen! Robby wouldn't ever hurt me in that way, he could never beat me and he doesn't even like saying I'm his even if it's not the same as the way Stephen put it. He sees the looks in my eye when I see a girl with bruises and he tells me not to worry because I will never go through that again. He asks me before he touches me, because he doesn't want to force me into anything. He's my love, he knows how to be who he is without having to prove himself. I prayed for him, and God blessed me with him. We have had our issues over the way I act and the things he can't understand, but I never want to be away from him ever again. God took my mistakes and helped me fix them, and gave me Robby so that I could be whole again one day. I thank him and he's my positivity!
I don't like to compare people, especially ex's. Stephen, my abusive ex was 1 year older than I and was a boxer. He was trained to keep the person he was fighting down, too bad he couldn't be a man and fight men. He had to be a wimp and hit me. Stephen found it in his heart to tell me he loved me about 1 time a month and everywhere I went he would have someone follow me. Stephen was a jerk and all his friends were jerks too. He blamed the abuse on me being a "Whore" and lazy. This man, this one man... that now I can't see how, had complete power over me. Right now in my head, NO ONE HAS POWER but God! I let this child, because most 18-20 year old males aren't yet MEN, beat me and make me beg him to stop. I let him cheat on me in my face, I let him beat my child out of me and I let him be the person that said that HE would KILL ME if I left him.
Robby is the Anti- Stephen! Robby wouldn't ever hurt me in that way, he could never beat me and he doesn't even like saying I'm his even if it's not the same as the way Stephen put it. He sees the looks in my eye when I see a girl with bruises and he tells me not to worry because I will never go through that again. He asks me before he touches me, because he doesn't want to force me into anything. He's my love, he knows how to be who he is without having to prove himself. I prayed for him, and God blessed me with him. We have had our issues over the way I act and the things he can't understand, but I never want to be away from him ever again. God took my mistakes and helped me fix them, and gave me Robby so that I could be whole again one day. I thank him and he's my positivity!
Replies
You are a real inspiration. A strong and beautiful person who appreciates what she has. I\'m so sorry to had to go through such extreme physical and emotional abuse. Thank the Lord for Robby as he sounds wonderful. I had two miscarriages after my first son. The second one I was 12 weeks and ended up being rushed to the hospital for a D&C. It was a terrible experience. I went to the doctor\'s with my toddler and dealt with a mean receptionist. I wanted to go home and they let me and then I collapsed on the bathroom floor. At least my husdand was undertstanding at the time.
Thank you. I feel like the abuse gave me a little strength to help people I know through it. I don\'t dwell on that anymore, he doesn\'t and won\'t ever make me sad again. I get fired up when I think of Stephen and his bologna. The miscarriages and the crude healthcare workers didn\'t help, but I am finding my voice here and I am finding that the other women are just as strong as I am. You are strong in your own rights, to even be able to log onto your computer. Thank you for the praises, you deserve them as well.