risk it...

Risk it all and give myself...do I even want to? I know the gain will be worth it, yet my heart won't allow that to become a feeling. To give things up...do I even want to? If so I'd have to give up pride, slowly built up anger, resentment, bitterness, misunderstandings, the fear of failure, fear of risk, fear of making a risk to find myself that i have fallen behind MY plans, fear of turning into someone I'm not use to being in the flesh but only in my heart. The fear of not knowing what I'd really see and feel, the things I choose to repress for a reason, what if i'm empyt and find out that there is nothing to be revived in me to feel alive? Is this resentment in others or myself? Myself for not taking more risks in life or resentment in those I feel like hold me back?