"riding the lonely train" thread, a response
One or two posts/were: on a) a train dream, b) a slight(snub) being let go/soon, c) there being insufficient money for dating.
I wish I were able to soon not be bothered by a slight. Instead of it being a couple weeks or more :( I had a dream years ago about a train wreck. Derailment and the cars sailing into the air, it being somehow in a light mood. Soon ppl were dancing and singing there in the air; many, distant family, old friends. They were holding hands in a few long lines -- sailing around. I took it to mean something about the afterlife and a big reunion. . . . Anyway.
The train dream I read about here on DS was a) noble .. the admired minister being there, and of course Bishop Tutu . :O . :) ; the dream prompted reflection and IMHO helped with self-awareness. Ppl enjoy having reflective and aware friends. & reflective, aware S.O.s
Although it is normally thought dating takes money, that idea for one thing comes from young ppl where mate-search has so much more with the family's social prestige and prosperity. Ppl who have aged a bit think less about those things, more interested in personal qualities. I was invited to lunch once, by a Mr David, in a new city I'd moved to. We were shopping for deli food; it was a market with various deli stalls, and tables. As we trudged along I starting realizing this was an expense for David and he usually had peanut butter+jelly and potato salad. This was going to be a treat. I was on a small stipend but figured.. well, I offered to pay 50% of my own way. Which David liked.
Um, can wonder about a case of eating out, where a fellow has a car but the femme does not, and she pays a tad more than 1/2.... That very small amt difference would be symbolic, to lead more quickly to an arraingement where very very inexpensive places (or gifts***) can be comfortable. I myself haven't a car but sometimes am more solvent than another person I'm with. So I might sometimes pay more than 50/50 where we go. If he is supporting a car, I should pay more of it. Say if I invited a woman to a concert in the park(free) and say had a car, when she didn't; and if I'm broke that week and not certain I should even be thinking about a date, say I could supply the car then afterwards hope we could go out for ice cream (or something healthy/yogurt :( . I'd figure if she could buy the ice cream then we'd go for some, otherwise <nope>.
*** footnote. I'm way into gifts. Am a books and music person; if I had an old copy of Mile's "Kinda Blue" which I'd already copied off on CD, then the vinyl -- or another CD copy -- I could give to someone just on a visit.
Educated men, past the age of 30 or 40, are scarce. I mean not enough to completely go 'round. The women here can take this into account; being prepared is better than..not knowing.
cheers,/i wrote this out as much for myself as for another p'rsn and gp.
Sending good thoughts to all. . :)
I wish I were able to soon not be bothered by a slight. Instead of it being a couple weeks or more :( I had a dream years ago about a train wreck. Derailment and the cars sailing into the air, it being somehow in a light mood. Soon ppl were dancing and singing there in the air; many, distant family, old friends. They were holding hands in a few long lines -- sailing around. I took it to mean something about the afterlife and a big reunion. . . . Anyway.
The train dream I read about here on DS was a) noble .. the admired minister being there, and of course Bishop Tutu . :O . :) ; the dream prompted reflection and IMHO helped with self-awareness. Ppl enjoy having reflective and aware friends. & reflective, aware S.O.s
Although it is normally thought dating takes money, that idea for one thing comes from young ppl where mate-search has so much more with the family's social prestige and prosperity. Ppl who have aged a bit think less about those things, more interested in personal qualities. I was invited to lunch once, by a Mr David, in a new city I'd moved to. We were shopping for deli food; it was a market with various deli stalls, and tables. As we trudged along I starting realizing this was an expense for David and he usually had peanut butter+jelly and potato salad. This was going to be a treat. I was on a small stipend but figured.. well, I offered to pay 50% of my own way. Which David liked.
Um, can wonder about a case of eating out, where a fellow has a car but the femme does not, and she pays a tad more than 1/2.... That very small amt difference would be symbolic, to lead more quickly to an arraingement where very very inexpensive places (or gifts***) can be comfortable. I myself haven't a car but sometimes am more solvent than another person I'm with. So I might sometimes pay more than 50/50 where we go. If he is supporting a car, I should pay more of it. Say if I invited a woman to a concert in the park(free) and say had a car, when she didn't; and if I'm broke that week and not certain I should even be thinking about a date, say I could supply the car then afterwards hope we could go out for ice cream (or something healthy/yogurt :( . I'd figure if she could buy the ice cream then we'd go for some, otherwise <nope>.
*** footnote. I'm way into gifts. Am a books and music person; if I had an old copy of Mile's "Kinda Blue" which I'd already copied off on CD, then the vinyl -- or another CD copy -- I could give to someone just on a visit.
Educated men, past the age of 30 or 40, are scarce. I mean not enough to completely go 'round. The women here can take this into account; being prepared is better than..not knowing.
cheers,/i wrote this out as much for myself as for another p'rsn and gp.
Sending good thoughts to all. . :)
Replies
thanks...hugs
i cant afford a car, and for good or bad, i\'ve gotten into the habit of stopping at a restaurant after my alpha male friend takes me for some important ride.
i just checked out plenty of fish free dating site a couple days ago, just to see if same local woman was on there---and she was, for EIGHT YEARS. As some disgruntled men on other sites have noted, there are # women on a site like that who get maybe 200 e-mails from men a day, so they enjoy just staying on a site like that 4ever.
sociologists have also noted that women are interested in money, cause it comes from old cave man days, of men being the provider.
GOOD LUCK.
Thinking of you sweety. Sending you lots of hugs!! GB
Interesting thoughts. And I agree on the man situation past a certain age. I guess it could even be considered by design, as it\'s traditionally been more men sent off to war to die. My generation of men would be the Vietnam era. And a little younger but I had always gone for men a little older so many fell into that age group that got there minds screwed. I saw a post on FB the other day about he amount of soldiers who died in the whatever war IRAq, I guess, vs how many committed suicide. IT was heartbreaking. Apx 6000 in war, apx 125,000 in suicides. I don\'t feel like looking up the exact numbers. I also would like to verify, although not quite sure how to do that. Maybe it\'s not true. Some things go around sounding official that are not true. Many things go around, that you wouldn\'t believe to be true, but after research find that they are true.
I like you train dream. I havn\'t had a train dream that I remember. I have lots of dreams. More at times than others, some more vivid and memorable, some like a action movie. My most recent memorable was a Criss Angel dream. That was nice, since he gives off a snug, happy, secure & loved feeling.
Yes I\'m not so eager either in looking up Iraq war suicides. I tried briefly just now, and will try a little further sometime when I have a stronger stomach. But, um, what I learned just now was about \'Nam. It is *much* worse than when I was hearing long ago. 58k casualties, 150k post-war \'self-deaths.\'
I take these things kinda seriously. Two uncles distinguished themselves in WW II; friends fled to Canada & a supervisor was -- in \'Nam -- out in the forests. Come to think, a more recent classmate did do attrocities then came back to be told by th\' V.A. that he had not been in Cambodia. About the time an uncle was working for the V.A. Things were rough for him then.
C .