Returning to my Suicidal Thoughts

Last semester, the most stressful period of my life, there were a lot of dark moments that are worth forgetting.  But there is one that may be important.During that horrible semester, in one of the busiest times.  It was the usual: sleep deprived, emotionally drained, disillusioned.  I probably didnt get enough sleep this night, but heres the dream.  I remember it being fairly standard dream, no plot, few emotions, just slight oddities .  Then it became very terrifying,  there was some creature, or human, killing as much as it could.  I rushed to find safety.  But in every ditch, or closet, or even my own car, there were dead humans, dogs, cats.  Everything mutilated.  I remember in the dream trying to fight this monster.  Putting all my effort into one shot, I found it in the road and I tried to kill it.  But i tried, and I just couldnt.  After my failure, I had to run.  Far, fast, anywhere. didnt matter.  Even though I ran, I knew death was immenent.  It was terrifying.  To sit there and anticipate dying, knowing it was close, and being unable to do anything about it.and then I woke upThe only other time I have had this feeling is when I was suicidal a week ago.  I was feeling like such a failure, ending my life seemed perfectly logical to me.  Then I snapped out of it.  I sobbed, not a cathartic sob, where you feel new, refreshed after.  This was a dark, fear filled sob.  I felt like death by my own hands was immenint, inevitable.  The fear and knowledge that I will end up killing myself someday.  And being unable to stop it, unable to ask for help, unable to sleep.  Its a horrible terror