Retrograde Wednesday
There are 6 retrogrades going on in starting in the recent past and the near future. I am hoping this energy does not affect my near future plans. Everything at work seems to be a mess but I am getting thru it as good as possible. Wheras in the past it seemed the weeks were over in a blink, this week seems to be dragging on and snowballs rolling just keep getting bigger.
My anxiety is heightened today and I'm thinking I may stop drinking coffee all together or in the short term-drink half decaf half reg and slowly wean myself off. Normally I am ok, but, I have started eating very low carbs and it seems like the caffiene hits my system harder and makes me nervous and light headed.
My brother informed me a real estate agent is coming to my parents house today to give him her estimate on what she thinks the house will sell for. I told him he needs to lower his expectations so he is not let down and don't expect a overnight goldmine. I think both of us are ready just tto unload the property and rid ourselves of the bad energy it has. I don't even care if I see a dime out of it and it is only a reminder of the selfishness both our parents were- Only caring about themselves in the moment with no regards to the future of their deer in headlights offspring-namely the daughter they handed over (me) to her great grandmother which I am thankful for this day-but-I am still on the hook to clean up the mess they left behind. I wish the house would burn down so my poor brother could get out of there. It was his choice to move in and pt off setteling the estate with his soon to be ex and stay there and now he is reeping what he sowed and taking me down that road with him.
I feel like I dodged a bullet with Joe-however I am full of fear that I won't make it. Realistically, I know I can-but its those little fears that eat away at me. I took the leap contratually and financially now and there is no turning back. I have no choice but to start writing a new chapter. I know its a good thing. Old cycles have ended and new ones are beggining. I hope the road before me is covered in nice smooth asphalt with no holes or bumps.
Replies
Try not to overthink stuff. We aren't a slave to energy or retrogrades or other distractions. You brother will handle the house. Like you said, his choice. I think the past is always nipping at our heels but honestly, sometimes accepting what happened and finding a way to make peace with it helps keep it in the rear view mirror where it belongs. Take it a moment at a time.
Definitely one moment at a time. The only ‘cure’ for anxiety is attending to the task at hand to the best of your ability. Then attend to the next one. I find that this approach simplifies the urge to worry about a future that hasn’t arrived yet.
I quit caffeine two months ago and I love the extra energy and freedom of rationalizing the next dose. I just take a sip of water and imagine it’s doing what coffee hasn’t done for me for years.
I often tell my wife that she’s the bravest woman I’ve ever met and you’re in that class too. I’m so impressed that you are creating independence.
Yes, if you can quit caffeine, you would be much better off. The reason is because it lowers dopamine levels in the brain and dopamine is the feel good chemical that makes us happy! Low dopamine levels also cause "restless leg syndrome" or rls for short. It's something I have struggled with for years but it was just recently that I learned about the connection between dopamine and caffeine so I am weaning myself off coffee and am down to 2 big cups a day, when I use to drink a pot.