Retirement Planning
My condition might be worse this morning. Therapy network on Amber Alert.
Hubs still wants to Talk Retirement Planning and Estate Management. I think. I confess to not understand him too well these days. I am wondering if this will be the day I get the phone call that his heart gave out.
Detaching. . . Not mine to sort. . .
Going on my faith in hubs that this is a good day to run the retirement numbers, I have been reaching for those details as best I can in my current condition. Giving it my honest best, I find myself at the VA desks. I kinda like being called, "SP4 Surname, Viet Nam Era." I don't get to hear that much when hubby is at the desk. Insert preferred theory here.
Seeking counsel from the "Divorce and Break-up" network would be the next step in that process. At the very least, I need a divorce lawyer. The VA is very particular about the details. . . I intend to keep the promise I made in 1980 when hubs and I signed our first set of papers together. If I go, I will take nothing that is yours. Don't much wanna be the "New Improved Barbie" who comes with GI Joe and all Ken's things. The Beaten Crazy Bitch Wolf likes to travel light.
It is okay if you do not understand it, Sad Little Fish Face. Old Gwammy doesn't understand it, either.
Sorting. . .
Replies
Oops. Sorry VA buddies. Forgot that on the VA books, I retired in 1976.
SP4, Retired. Viet Nam Era. I think. Research in progress. . .
Wish I had words, all I got is supprotive prayers.
Just remember, your first priority is to take care of YOU. I beyond admire your dedication to your struggling kids, and I have more sympathy for them then they probably know, but if you leave with only yours...at least take care of yours... I suspect that you don't need much beyond a bit of chicken feed (literal) and a plot of land.
Myself, I live "rich" on less money than most people live "poor". But then an almost pathological hatred of shopping and eating out...will do that. (I can cook this steak better, for less money, less time spent waiting, less gas, less environmental toxins, less annoyance, at home...But I don't even want steak tonight. I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich made the way only I can put it together...)
Look after you is all i can say. Do what u need to do. Dont make any rash decisions while psychotic though x
My morning therapy exercises ended with a desire to set up another base camp, near enough to report for duty, if needed, but far enough to get a decent night's sleep. Ran the desire through my peer supporters and I allowed it to become a decision.
Had to leave town, of course. I live in a non-smoking city. Found my smoking, pet-friendly room in one of the sleeper burbs. No, I am not okay, but. . . My peer supporters think I am holding my own through the eye of the storm.
Sigh. . .
Footnote: YS quipped about the need for a doctorate degree to understand family dynamics. Find myself wondering if part of the broken family problem is accepting counsel from people who don't have time for family. Do doctors even have family? It never once occurred to me to ask any of my PhD empowered acquaintances. 100% of the ones I know personally are bachelors(ettes) or child-free exes.
I don't know your situation, so forgive me if I this doesn't fit for you. I left my husband with what he called, "what you came with". Unfortunately, years later and lots of therapy from physical and verbal/emotional abuse, I realized being stubborn does not always pay the bills. I sold everything I had and moved across country and got nothing for that. I didn't want him to have the luxury of saying, "she married me for the money". However, 16 years later I realize, I should have advocated for myself because I gave so much away in that relationship. I gave my soul, really, not counting the material things. My attorney sucked and did not advocate for me. Please Arfie, do not get too stubborn to walk away from money on the table. You deserve to have what is rightfully yours. Texas sucks for support for women, the lowest in the country. However, if you have been married 10 years, you are entitled to spousal support. Get it. When you've had money for a long time and then don't it is horribly difficult. Especially when you do not have a high paying job to support yourself. This is my story. It may not be yours, but I ask you to consider the ramifications of 5, 10, 15 years from now. Love and Hugs your way, JP
Hi Arfie, I am very sorry to hear what you are going through in this moment. Sending you a lot of support and take good care of yourself. Hugs for you.