Resting up, after Christmas shopping :) 1 good experience, 1 rough experience. i'm ok :)

Christmas Shopping, and Resting this evening :) my mom, dad, and i went shopping today. :) we went to the dollar tree store, it was very nice there, and i got some great items, gifts, and gift bags, and decided afterwards to go to walmart, thinking it would be a good experience, but it wasn't, and i struggled mightedly with my anxiety at walmart, feeling smothered by anxiety, uncomfortable, felt like i was uncomfortable in my own skin, the anxiety literally rocked me, and it was quite upsetting. i didn't need, or want to have an experience like that. it was frustrating, but i did accomplish my shopping goals. i feel drained, but am alright. i just wish i hadn't gone to walmart today. i'm not letting the rough experience let me know, i'm moving onto a new day tomorrow, which will be better. :) i just very upset, frustrated, by how i felt like a melting snowman inside walmart today. really discouraged me, with how it went, but i'm gonna be ok. it was roughest experience i've had in a long time. it almost brought me to tears, and i almost had to leave the store. i'm frustrated by anxiety, but i will do better next time. i'm not giving up, and i'll never lose hope. :) i'm taking it easy this evening, opening Christmas cards, and, gonna watch a movie with Holly tonight :) i'm with you angel friends, thank you all for encouraging me to keep on keeping on :) Big group comforting hug. :)
Hi angel friends :) in my journal today, gonna share about some wonderful gifts, and treasures my family and i recieved. :) i'm also gonna share about a tale of 2 shopping experiences, 1 good experience, and , 1 terribly, awful experience that i want to forget about, but i'm hanging in there best i can, and writing with my heart, and spirit :) it's not often these days now, where i have a rough experience goign out, but it does happen from time to time, and i always grow more, because of it :) i feel quite numb, from anxiety, and my nerves finally unwinding after a rough experience today. i'm ok though, and i'm gonna keep on keeping on :)
my family and i hope everyone is doing well, and having a nice day :) it's sunny and breezy today :) it feels good to be sitting back, relaxing, and writing. :) i have lots of nice bags of gifts, and treasures i've bought for my family, for Christmas :) i've been looking forward to shopping, and completing my Christmas shopping ,so that i could begin to put together gift bags :) i knew going into the weekend, it was gonna be nice, to buy some more gifts, and browsing around the stores :) i had been looking forward to it all week :)
Around late morning, my mom, dad, and i went over to the dollar tree store :) it was a nice car ride there, and i felt relaxed, and focused :) i like to be relaxed, and focused before shopping. it can be a hard time of the year, to focus in on things, with all of the stores quite busy, but last week went so well, and i had hoped this week would go well too. at the dollar tree, i was doing great, and my mom and dad were too :) i was buying some nice gift bags, many nice decorative ones :) i also was buying some candies for the kids, and i got some oven mits, kitchen towels, and hot mats, to put together kitchen gift sets :) my dad was in a little weird mood today, and i could tell he was, with his and my mom's interaction. it was kinda like my dad didn't want to be in the stores, or something, i'm not sure, but i was mainly keeping ahead, and doing my thing, shopping :) at the dollar tree, it was majorly busy at the checkout, but i did great, and it didn't get to me. i felt a little unsure, if i should go to walmart, i did want to browse around, there were a few gifts i wanted to get there, but i wasn't 100% certain, so that was enough to make me feel unfocused. after we were finished at the dollar tree store, we went to walmart.
at walmart, i like when my mom and dad have to browse too, but it was almost as if, they were just going there, for me. i did feel a bit unfocused, and unsure of some items i wanted to get still. we arrived at walmart, and walked in. we looked at the men's clothing/clearance rack, and browsed around, before headed toward the other side of the store. i felt like i didn't have balance, or focused direction, in the store, and my shyness level went way up. sometimes, i don't do well, with talking when others are around, so i felt very shy, and i felt like there was a huge spotlight on me, and i felt warm, very warm, i knew it was the anxiety, a very uncomfortable feeling.
we walked over to the area, where they have hotwheels, and i went ahead, to look, at the bin, then went to go onto the aisle, it was crowded, blocked, and i just froze up, i turned around, i looked at some items in the middle aisle area, but i felt very frustrated, like anxious, and felt like everywhere i was going in the store, was becoming very busy, and it was, it seemed, like no matter where we were going in the store, it was like, everyone was just ganging up around me, and i was feeling very frustrated. i didn't even make it onto the hot wheels aisle, i was upset, upset with anxiety, and not feeling relaxed, it was horrible, and i was feeling like i was a melting snowman in there.
we walked over to the cats/dogs food aisle, and i was trying to catch my breathe, and focus, but it wasn't happening, and i was just in the middle of the anxiety attack. i was very upset, because i like to shop, i like to browse around, and anxiety was rocking me, and when that happens, it's like an uncomfortable feeling, of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, felt like people were staring, and i just wanted to be out of the store. i tried to focus on getting a couple gift cards, i was able to select 2, but i was very upset, because i wanted to look at the holiday gift sets, but anxiety was just steering me more and more, to get out of the store. it's frustrating, and i feel discouraged that i was unable to take a deep breathe, or to focus. my breathing was heavy, andi felt very warm in there, i literally felt, that where-ever i went in the store, that area became busy, even on the other gift set aisle, we went on, i was just walking over to look, and then 3, 4 people, just huddled around me, it was like i had a big sign, that said, "that guy's anxious, lets gang up around him!" wow! it was truly like that, and frustrating. i had enough, and we went to the checkout, where i just looked down, and i was just wanting to be out of there, anxiety had won today, it got the best of me, and i knew it, and i felt it, and i still feel it. after we checked out, my mom, she knew i was in rough shape, and my dad, he was having a sort of smart-alec type of attitude in the stores today, so i didn't really want to listen to his, "it's christmas time, all stores are busy" remark, so i just ignored it. on the way home. he's usually cool, but was in a mood today. i could feel my nerves, wound up in my feet, arms, and my head began to feel more pressured, and hurt. it's pretty upsetting, and awful uncomfortable feeling.
i did my best, i truly did, and i almost broke down in tears, in that walmart store today, and i almost wanted to just leave the store. having anxiety in a store, is rough, i'd rather be in a dentist chair getting a tooth pulled, than to experience anxiety inside a store. i'm pretty upset and frustrated, because i've been in walmart, supercenter before, with it 100 times more busy, and i've done better, and it just gets me baffled, about how i didn't do well today, but i'm not letting it get me down, i just want to rest up, this evening, opening Christmas cards, and i just want to get a good night's rest. i'm not going back to that walmart store for a bit, until i'm 100% focused, on what i want to buy, and what i need to accomplish with my shopping goals in there. it shouldn't be this hard. i'm mega upset about what happened, with the experience, but i'm ok, and it helps me to write, and to rest up, after such a rough experience. i'm gonna be ok. i got a caramel iced coffee on the way home, and i'm just thankful i got all my shopping complete now. :) next weekend, i'm taking the weekend off from shopping, i need a break from those stores, but i'm ok, and will return to shopping again soon. i wanted to buy some mixed nuts, or some kind of snack, but didn't get too. i'm trying to be in good spirits about things, but a rough experience, really gets me all worked up, but i'm ok.
Merry Christmas Wishes, sent with lots and lots of love, from Australia! :) awww! :) This is so very beautifully heart warming, so sweet, and very special :) my family and i are so happy and excited! :) We've recieved some lovely Christmas gifts, and treasures, from our dear, and lovely friends, Emma (ZenEm), Misty, and their family : )awww! :) This is so nice, sweet, and very lovely :) We're having so much fun, celebrating the holiday season with you all, our dear friends :) This is such a sweet, and joyful time, all of the great memories being made, holiday cheer being shared, and heart-felt memories, that bring many smiles :) We're so blessed, and thankful, to have you all in our lives :) Emma, Misty, and their family sent us, a cute, and adorable Merry Christmas card :) awww! :) on the front of the card, there's a cute kitten, wearing a Santa Claus hat :) awww! :) there's also a snowflakes design :) inside the card, Emma wrote us a lovely note, wishing us a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year :) awww! :) we love our card. :) i'm going to display our card, in my Christmas town, and on Christmas Eve, my family and i are going to display our Christmas cards, on our living room wall :) it's a very special tradition :) Emma included some nice golden star confetti in our card :) i'm going to sprinkle the confetti on my DS Christmas Tree :) Emma, Misty, and their family also sent me, a wonderful amazon gift card, with an ecard! :) wow! :) This is so nice, sweet, and generous! :) The ecard, has a fun Christmas cookies and Santa Claus theme, with a fireplace setting :) the amazon gift card, is $25 :) wow!!! :) i'm going to treat myself to some nice items on amazon :) i love movies, dvds, this is awesome!!! :) i'm so happy and excited!!! :) i'm smiling and smiling! :) my family and i love our wonderful gifts, and treasures, and will always cherish them :) Emma, Misty, family, thank you all so very much! :) We deeply appreciate everything, with all of the love of our hearts :) sending lots and lots of love, and Merry Christmas wishes, and smiles across the miles, from our hearts, and home to yours :) awww! :) This is Christmas joy :)
Happy Friendship smiles, sent with lots and lots of love, from Georgia! :) awww! :) this is so very wonderfully nice, sweet, and heart warming :) my family and i recieved lovely gifts, and treasures, from our dear, and lovely friends, Maria (Love4You), Lionel, Denise, and their family :) This is so awesome, and a special joy :) Maria, and her family sent us, a lovely friendship card :) There's a sweet note, on the front of the card, and inside the card, Maria wrote us a wonderful friendship note :) We love our cards, and it's so much fun and very heart-felt, getting to display them here in my computer room :) It's so nice, and a special joy, getting to write to eachother :) Maria, Lionel, and their family also sent us, a wonderful friendship magnet, with a heart warming note on the magnet :) awww! :) i'm so excited, i'm going to display these lovely gifts, and treasures in my 2016 writing area :) my family and i are so blessed, and thankful to have you all in our lives :) Your friendships are a very special joy :) we love these very special gifts, and treasures, and will always cherish them :) Maria, Lionel, Denise, family, my family and i thank you all so very much! :) We send our love, many peaceful blessings, and happy friendship smiles across the miles, from our hearts, and home to yours :) This is so wonderful :)
We're enjoying the day :) my family and i are doing well :) it's such a sweet, and special time in the holiday season :) i'm not letting the rough experience at walmart today, get me down. i'm in good spirits :) Twas the countdown to Christmas holiday :) my family and i are so happy and excited! :) Tomorrow is a big day, with football sunday, and also we're going to Mikey's Christmas cookies party, during the early evening :) we look forward to the special tradition. :)i'll take some awesome pictures to share with everyone :) It's gonna be awesome! :) We'll also get to see Christmas lights in our city :) it was so much fun shopping today, i'm so happy, and thrilled about the nice christmas gifts i bought for my family :) i'm looking forward to putting together gift bags, as the new week arrives :) it's gonna be a big Christmas week, with lots of festivities, and traditions :) we're going to be visiting with my grandma early this upcoming week :) Tonight, Holly and i are going to watch a James bond movie, "thunderball" on amazon instant video :) We love our fun saturday night party's : )Thank you angel friends, so very much, for all that you do for us :) You all are wonderfully nice, and sweet :) We deeply appreciate everything, with all of the love of our hearts :) BIG GROUP WARM HOLIDAY HUG :) There's many more wonderful times to look forward too, with family, friends, nature, and the spirit of the holiday season :)
-never lose hope :)
To Wildthing, Peaceful Gentle Moments of the day :) Wildthing ,i love the gifts i and getting ready to put together gift bags :) There's a magical spirit of Christmas time in the air :) enjoying the holidays, with peaceful joys :) Thinking of you, our dear friend :)
my mom says hi :) She says, "i hope everyone is having a really good day" :) awww! :) We love you all bunches and bunches, our sweet dear wonderful guardian angel friends :) We hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying a peaceful day, and enjoying all of the holiday season festivities, and traditions :) We're so happy and excited! :) twas 6 days until Christmas holiday! :)
Merry Christmas Wishes, sent with lots and lots of love, from Australia, and Georgia! :) aww! :) This is so very wonderfully nice, heart warming, and very special :) my family and i love our beautiful gifts, and treasures :) We'll always cherish them :) This is so wonderful, the joys of celebrating the holidays with eachother :) We're with eachother in spirit :) We're looking forward to displaying our cards, on our living room wall, on Christmas Eve :) It's a very special tradition :) we deeply appreciate everything, with all of the love of our hearts :)
Thank you so very much, Emma (ZenEm), Misty, and family! :)

Thank you so very much, Maria (Love4You), Lionel, Denise, and family! :)
Christmas Shopping :) i love the nice gifts, and treasures i bought for my family, for Christmas :) i've done a lot of shopping, last week, and this week :) it's going to be very special to me, to see my family open their gift bags :)
i bought many varieties of gift bags :)

Lots of gifts to sort through :) Christmas time is here :)

Christmas town :) i've got my Christmas town lights lit, and i've got a movie on, i'm resting, and having a peaceful time just enjoying my Christmas lights lit, and displaying our Christmas cards :) i'm looking forward to taking many more Christmas pictures, as the season continues to be very festive :) i love my Christmas town, and it's nice having it on display, here in my computer room :)



Hi Chris Glad you and your family are having a nice day. You bought some nice gift bags and items at the dollar store.I know you\'re family will love them. Sorry you had a rough time in Walmart.Don\'t worry too much about it It is the busiest shopping Saturday of the year. Just too many people in there for you to be comfortable that\'s all. Your Christmas town looks great.Thanks for all my nice hugs today.Have a good evening Hugs to everybody-Stephanie

Hi Chris So sorry that you had such a bad time shopping at Walmart. John and I went to Walmart today as well and it was extremely busy as well. We didn\'t stay long because it was so busy. I am going to try again tomorrow after church,

We woke up to about an inch of snow this morning. It was so pretty but it has been really cold today. The high this afternoon was only 26 degrees.

I have my home computer up and running and I so excited to be able to get on DS everyday now to keep up with you guys. I can answer your journals and it will be so great to be able to add a journal myself. I had to set up a new account because for some reason it won\'t let me use the one I had set up with my work email address.

Christmas is only a week away and I am so excited. I love this time of the year.

Mya and Abby didn\'t like the snow today. Abby especially didn\'t like it. She went out and was back in the house in record time. She doesn\'t like the snow on her paws. Mya didn\'t seem to mind much.

You have a great evening and I hope that you feel better tomorrow.

Love you
John Debbie Mya Abby and Allie

Hey Chris, Big HUGS for you. So sorry to hear about what happened in WallMart tonight. I have had that happen when I go to the grocery store at times too. It Is an awful feeling. Remember though You got through it.I tell myself,give myself permission to leave the store if I am feeling awful,and a lot of times just telling myself that helps.Glad your getting back to feeling better. You and Holly enjoy your movie tonight and get some good rest. We send you loads of comforting hugs and encouragement. Say hello to everyone from us. blessings and greenies

Sweet Angel ,so sorry that you felt so uncomfortable, I pray that you feel well now and put behind this nasty experience my darling, I too feel bad when people are around me, I always avoid going anywhere that is busy with people, as you know with my chronic pain if someone just push me I feel pain, so I have to be careful.
I know that you are strong and will get over this soon, I am here for you, today I am staying home and resting, being here , been missing all my loving friends, your journals and hearing from you each day.
Give my love and best wishes to your wonderful mum and all your beautiful family, peace, joy, love to all********
Here its just me and Charlie, Lici has gone home , the sparrows and the robin are playing and eating in the garden , its so beautiful to see them, our nature friends ,happy to know that your nature friends visit , what joy to see \'\'GOD \'\' creation, even little birds..
Been missing you and your baking Friday, I will wright a journal with all the update.
you keep smiling darling, love the gifts you got, so nice to give the pots holders, love the colours, good stuff , I am sure they will be appreciated.
Have some quiet and restful time, take good care, love and lots of hugs, forever friends**

i\'m really sorry about your most difficult shopping with anxiety. it strikes out of the clear blue. i want to tell everyone i know that doesn\'t understand, \"i\'m not doing this to annoy you!\" anxiety is real. i believe that one day there will be a cure for this misunderstood disorder. it is with this hope in my heart that i plow through life and take the good with the bad.

take a day to rest and relax. i know a lot of people without chronic anxiety who are sick of stores by now! it\'s not what Christmas should be about anyway. keep trying. hang in there, you\'ll be okay.