Rest of Day 3 and Day 4
So things don't seem to be getting too solved. She's not kissing me at all anymore. I'm trying to be there more and be in her life more. I spoke to her yesterday and she said she doesn't feel like she's in my life cause i don't really tell her what's going on in my life anymore. This is kinda true, i guess i've been worrying so much about what's going on that i've forgotten to tell her about what is going on. I'm trying to be there alot. I ended up signing up for a bowling league, but I'm slowly going broke and don't know if i'll be able to keep up with it. I got an interview with Domino's Pizza for next Tuesday, hopefully i get the job. I want some real income and soon.I played cards for a few hours last night at Timmies, I'm trying to get back to doing that alot. Telly plays quite a bit and I want to do more things with her. i just don't want it to consume me again. I doubt it will, but you never know. This morning I picked her up from her work and dropped her off at home. Ran over to the garage to see if i can put an oil change on account. I can't, which sucks so i'll just have to wait till i get some money. Telly's going to Bleacher's tonight with Keira, I lent her $30 for the bar. It's money i don't have, but I gave it to her anyways. She's really stressed and she deserves to have a good night. If my next cheque is enough, I'm going to give some money to Danielle to spend for Telly so she can save money when they do their spa trip. Nate and I are headed to Kingston though so i can't give up too much. I really miss her, i miss cuddling with her, i miss talking with her, and i miss kissing her.All of this stress is slowly killing me, but i'm trying not to let it cause she's more stressed than me. I hope she has a great time at the bar tonight. I hope it gets alot of stuff off of her and is happier for it. But it does feel like she's drifting further away. The end is still coming and i can feel it. I'm so scared of letting it all go.