Respect Yourself...
Respect Yourself... Yall know that song... Ok... hope its playing in your head right now...
Respect Yourself... that's an order... LOL
Some things I've been thinking about and sharing and wanted to include in my journal as much for myself as for you...
I copied a post I had put on the discussion posts of ForMoms only and then I shared it with my friends on GBS in a discussion post... I am finding that I am learning many things as I continue my journey...
I will pass this way but once... If there's any kindness I can give... Let me show it now....
********************************************
This is a very long post so as one lady said... if you're time pressed... well... its fine... skip this one...
I originally came to Daily Strength because I was looking for help for dealing with my daughter's death. I can't tell you how wonderful the mothers I have met here have been... How much I have come to love them and their children who have transitioned... (thanks again Donna)
Part of my purpose in posting today is to make a goal update... I still have a lot of weight to lose... another very important goal I am realizing is learning to accept, respect and love myself... Now this one... may be even harder to achieve... but I will continue working on it and as long as I'm trying I am succeeding... I will fail only if I quit trying...
Every year they have a retreat... and many times I have thought about going but would not, because I just felt so terribly self conscious about my size... I've been so self conscious i wouldn't even put my weight here in this group... Sad but true... 387 when I went to my first appointment for WLS... 393 at my highest... 302 pounds Monday Jan. 20, 2013.
Anyway... this year I'm going.... and to help me make up my mind and to solidify my goals and my commitment to myself to start living my life instead of waiting to die I put the following post on ForMomsOnly... and I wanted to share the post and some thoughts that I have about the importance of loving ourselves with you...
******************************************** Boston 2013 Posted on 01/22/13, 01:24 pm
So sorry... crazy busy trying to get so many things organized... one of the things I'm considering is going to Boston for the retreat this year. Are you going? I'd so very much like to meet so many of you... there are so many of you that I see your faces and your children... that I feel like I almost know you...
Okay yall... here goes... going to say it now and let you hopefully accept it and get over it so I can do the same... One of the reasons I have not gone before... actually the main one is that I'm very self conscious... I am on a weight loss journey but I had and have a long way to go...
I have always been big but after Cara died one thing led to another and my health both mental and physical took a nose dive... and I ballooned... so like I said... I'm fine and I don't ask or want pity. I just want you to know I'm still going to be somewhere between 200 and 250 by August I'm thinking... fact is I was nearly 400 lbs and I'm almost at 300 now... slogging through it... and I'm going to continue... no problem... some of you are going to know exactly how I feel.
I hope this post will help you know that just as we are not alone in our grief over the crossing over of our child(ren) we share other life trials also. So now you know... Let's all get over it. Hugs Elissa ******************************************************************************* Life is hard at times... Its true a lot of times people are ugly... but I've learned over the years that the fact people can be ugly and cruel is about them... Unfortunately I developed a lot of my inner picture of myself from people like that... and its hard undoing years of negative messages... both those from others and from myself... As a fat person I have faced rejection many times... Its tough... I am working on learning to love myself and praying I can help others to love themselves at the same time. I think we can and should love ourselves... For health reasons I need to and will continue working on losing weight... I do not believe now though that I have to lose weight to be loved... It doesn't work... I know way too many skinny people who struggle every day with feelings of self loathing... and fear of what others think of them... Its not about what we look like... Its about negative messages from others and even worse... from ourselves that have become our guideposts for how we feel about ourselves... I'm working on it folks... I'm okay with it... Matter of fact I'm more than okay with it... I'm giving it my stamp of approval. GRRRRRRRRRRR LOL
I do hope most of all that anyone who reads my post who has similar issues will feel like they can stretch out and learn to love and accept themselves... We truly do need to move forward and look for the sunshine... We need not to buy into the ugliness that some people can not seem to keep from dishing out... nor to hate them... but rather to pray for them because there has to be something empty in their souls that causes them to behave that way...
Respect Yourself... that's an order... LOL
Some things I've been thinking about and sharing and wanted to include in my journal as much for myself as for you...
I copied a post I had put on the discussion posts of ForMoms only and then I shared it with my friends on GBS in a discussion post... I am finding that I am learning many things as I continue my journey...
I will pass this way but once... If there's any kindness I can give... Let me show it now....
********************************************
This is a very long post so as one lady said... if you're time pressed... well... its fine... skip this one...
I originally came to Daily Strength because I was looking for help for dealing with my daughter's death. I can't tell you how wonderful the mothers I have met here have been... How much I have come to love them and their children who have transitioned... (thanks again Donna)
Part of my purpose in posting today is to make a goal update... I still have a lot of weight to lose... another very important goal I am realizing is learning to accept, respect and love myself... Now this one... may be even harder to achieve... but I will continue working on it and as long as I'm trying I am succeeding... I will fail only if I quit trying...
Every year they have a retreat... and many times I have thought about going but would not, because I just felt so terribly self conscious about my size... I've been so self conscious i wouldn't even put my weight here in this group... Sad but true... 387 when I went to my first appointment for WLS... 393 at my highest... 302 pounds Monday Jan. 20, 2013.
Anyway... this year I'm going.... and to help me make up my mind and to solidify my goals and my commitment to myself to start living my life instead of waiting to die I put the following post on ForMomsOnly... and I wanted to share the post and some thoughts that I have about the importance of loving ourselves with you...
******************************************** Boston 2013 Posted on 01/22/13, 01:24 pm
So sorry... crazy busy trying to get so many things organized... one of the things I'm considering is going to Boston for the retreat this year. Are you going? I'd so very much like to meet so many of you... there are so many of you that I see your faces and your children... that I feel like I almost know you...
Okay yall... here goes... going to say it now and let you hopefully accept it and get over it so I can do the same... One of the reasons I have not gone before... actually the main one is that I'm very self conscious... I am on a weight loss journey but I had and have a long way to go...
I have always been big but after Cara died one thing led to another and my health both mental and physical took a nose dive... and I ballooned... so like I said... I'm fine and I don't ask or want pity. I just want you to know I'm still going to be somewhere between 200 and 250 by August I'm thinking... fact is I was nearly 400 lbs and I'm almost at 300 now... slogging through it... and I'm going to continue... no problem... some of you are going to know exactly how I feel.
I hope this post will help you know that just as we are not alone in our grief over the crossing over of our child(ren) we share other life trials also. So now you know... Let's all get over it. Hugs Elissa ******************************************************************************* Life is hard at times... Its true a lot of times people are ugly... but I've learned over the years that the fact people can be ugly and cruel is about them... Unfortunately I developed a lot of my inner picture of myself from people like that... and its hard undoing years of negative messages... both those from others and from myself... As a fat person I have faced rejection many times... Its tough... I am working on learning to love myself and praying I can help others to love themselves at the same time. I think we can and should love ourselves... For health reasons I need to and will continue working on losing weight... I do not believe now though that I have to lose weight to be loved... It doesn't work... I know way too many skinny people who struggle every day with feelings of self loathing... and fear of what others think of them... Its not about what we look like... Its about negative messages from others and even worse... from ourselves that have become our guideposts for how we feel about ourselves... I'm working on it folks... I'm okay with it... Matter of fact I'm more than okay with it... I'm giving it my stamp of approval. GRRRRRRRRRRR LOL
I do hope most of all that anyone who reads my post who has similar issues will feel like they can stretch out and learn to love and accept themselves... We truly do need to move forward and look for the sunshine... We need not to buy into the ugliness that some people can not seem to keep from dishing out... nor to hate them... but rather to pray for them because there has to be something empty in their souls that causes them to behave that way...
Replies
I\"m so damn proud of you girl!!!!
\"I fail only if I quit trying\".....OH I LOVE THAT!
It is so hard to love yourself because of so many ugly things that have been said to us or about us..I agree. I have yet to find someone (a man) that would love me for who I am as a person...to over look my weight. Is it even possible, I wonder at times.
It is so hard to love myself yet I can love others fully. I hope that through this journey I will find that love of myself again. I first had depression (deep depression) the summer of 2000 even though I suffered it since childhood. Before the depression hit in 2000, I was over weight about 275, but I was worked out often and had so much confidence and was proud that I liked who I was. But I lost myself in 2000 and have still not found that person again. I\'m hoping to find that person again during my journey. I thank you for all your support and love. Your friensship has meant so much to me. love debby
So many pearls of wisdom here, I am glad I read it all. Thank you for sharing.
With love,
Leda
Respect yourself and look for the sunshine. I like that. The best of luck to you, you can do it! Your friend, BarbaraWawa
Absolutely true what you\'ve written about the ugliness in others--\"out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speakers\" verse comes to my mind as I write this.
This world\'s values are so messed up...only looking at the outside shell and not the heart. \"Respect Yourself\" is a good reminder for any of us that have been emotionally wounded, by those in our lives that have a lot of influence on our sense of self worth. We are beautiful in God\'s eyes...in the end His \"opinion\" is the only one that matters.
On the \"plus\" side--you know instantly at times who is friend-worthy and who is not by how they initially respond to you.
Beautiful entry dear one and yes, loving and respecting ourselves is vital for our womanhood and personhood.
Thank you for sharing where you are finding yourself today and we are all bound together by these heartstrings of compassion and understanding.
Here\'s to loving ourselves even on our most \"unlovable\" days.
Tight, tight hugs and gratitude for your presence.
XO Joanie
I have been in a deep depression lately and have not been reading journals. Yours just sort of jumped out at me today, for some reason.
I have fought a weight problem all of my life. Heck, I was even a fat child. i have lost and gained back more pounds than most will ever see.
When my husband of 33 yrs. passed away in 2005, I was at a very good weight. I had lost it on weight watchers ( yet again) and was so sad without him I lost some more pounds.
Then, in 2008 i met Billy!! He and I married in 2009, one year to the date of our meeting each other. I thought I could put all un-happiness behind me and enjoy life again. I have since gained 70 lbs. back again. My relationship with Billy became strained, as he let me know that he wasn\'t attracted to large women!! All that did was stress me out, so I ate even more!!
Then in August of 2011 I lost my best male friend of 35 yrs. He was the brother I never had. I was still reeling from that death , when the un-thinkable happened...I lost my only son, in Sept. of 2011. That brought me to FMO and I am so grateful for this site and the brave women on it..
Billy and I are doing better and he is trying to support me through the worse time in my life.
Two weeks ago both of us started dieting, with a online diet site called
myfitnesspal.com. ( don\'t know how to put the actual link on here, so you can just click on it)... It is just like weight watchers, except you count calories, instead of points. Also, it is free!!
I am so glad to meet someone else, who is struggeling with their weight, as well as the grief of losing a child. I sense a kindred spirit here, lol.
What diet plan are you on and do you belong to a support group online, for weight problems??
I hope to hear from you soon and have a blessed day....
((((HUGS))))....Julia
Keep Trying each day!!!!!