Resolution
The other day my Sensei (Martial Arts teacher) came to me very friendly and understanding to tell me that some parents had talked to him and told him that they considered not appropriate that I (his assistant) appeared in FB since my profile said under the personal info "preference: men" I also had a gay banner in my profile, plus my blog appered as "website" (a martial arts blog with a very specific non-discriminative politic toward gay athletes). According to the parents that made the claim, I publish content that is not apt for children (and of course that includes ME, the "fag")
I felt not only offended but worried of my very safety because they even mentioned to the Sensei the Minor Protection Act. So I could end in jail if things stayed as they were.
My teacher's answer to what they said was that it was my private life and that I have the right to be gay "if I wish so" (remember these people are ignorant and heterosexuals so they think I signed in for the gay club or something.) He also told them that what I do outside the gym is private. Yet, they argued that I post gay activism support content and anecdotes which are beyond kids comprehension and they think I should behave more respectfully since kids are among the audience. The Sensei agreed with them in this last point.
Ok. So I hated my life again. I hated the people I practiced with for almost 5 years now, and even when the Sensei expressed that he feels a deep respect for me and my condition, I hated his point of view.
What could I do. Close my blogs. Remove my gay banner. And remove all permission to my contacts to access my profile with the exception of a few friends which are in a list of authorized people. The Sensei is not there by the way.
I yelled at him that I rather be an ordinary athlete (stead of the Aikido National Organization vice-president assistant which I am) than to live in the closet again. He said that I didn't have to go back to the closet, just keep my personal stuff for myself (that is, don't tell anyone that I am gay IN CONTEXTS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MARTIAL ARTS because it hurts the Organization because "people hate gays" he said. It is bad for business he also said)
I couldn't sleep for one week. Tha pain in my neck caused by the stress was killing me. I felt like throwing up every time I remembered what happened and having to be at the gym everyday became a hell where I was there like a living corpse all depressed and totally dishearted, disappointed.
What could I do? What was the "right" thing to do? The ethic thing to do? As I was taught when I lived in the big city by the activism groups I belonged to there I had to quit that gym forever, leave them for being anti-gay. What would I win if I do that? A stronger heart or a broken one? Would I contribute the world to be better? Would I teach them alesson? Do they care?
What the parents really want is that the "fag" stays away from their little treasures (some of them very evidently gay/lesbian by the way). They want me out. They want me all depressed and wrist cutted in some dark street. Dead.
I can't let them have that. Sorry. I am sorry for the gay fraternity (they are not here to stand by me). I can't let them have my place in the organization. I won't quit. I will always be the gay in charge. And if they are not competent enough I will happily take this Organization's direction one day.
I will be happy no matter what others think. The rest, I leave it in God's hands.
I felt not only offended but worried of my very safety because they even mentioned to the Sensei the Minor Protection Act. So I could end in jail if things stayed as they were.
My teacher's answer to what they said was that it was my private life and that I have the right to be gay "if I wish so" (remember these people are ignorant and heterosexuals so they think I signed in for the gay club or something.) He also told them that what I do outside the gym is private. Yet, they argued that I post gay activism support content and anecdotes which are beyond kids comprehension and they think I should behave more respectfully since kids are among the audience. The Sensei agreed with them in this last point.
Ok. So I hated my life again. I hated the people I practiced with for almost 5 years now, and even when the Sensei expressed that he feels a deep respect for me and my condition, I hated his point of view.
What could I do. Close my blogs. Remove my gay banner. And remove all permission to my contacts to access my profile with the exception of a few friends which are in a list of authorized people. The Sensei is not there by the way.
I yelled at him that I rather be an ordinary athlete (stead of the Aikido National Organization vice-president assistant which I am) than to live in the closet again. He said that I didn't have to go back to the closet, just keep my personal stuff for myself (that is, don't tell anyone that I am gay IN CONTEXTS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MARTIAL ARTS because it hurts the Organization because "people hate gays" he said. It is bad for business he also said)
I couldn't sleep for one week. Tha pain in my neck caused by the stress was killing me. I felt like throwing up every time I remembered what happened and having to be at the gym everyday became a hell where I was there like a living corpse all depressed and totally dishearted, disappointed.
What could I do? What was the "right" thing to do? The ethic thing to do? As I was taught when I lived in the big city by the activism groups I belonged to there I had to quit that gym forever, leave them for being anti-gay. What would I win if I do that? A stronger heart or a broken one? Would I contribute the world to be better? Would I teach them alesson? Do they care?
What the parents really want is that the "fag" stays away from their little treasures (some of them very evidently gay/lesbian by the way). They want me out. They want me all depressed and wrist cutted in some dark street. Dead.
I can't let them have that. Sorry. I am sorry for the gay fraternity (they are not here to stand by me). I can't let them have my place in the organization. I won't quit. I will always be the gay in charge. And if they are not competent enough I will happily take this Organization's direction one day.
I will be happy no matter what others think. The rest, I leave it in God's hands.
Replies
Well, first of all, once out of the closet, there is no going back, period! What you put on your Facebook is allowed, that is called freedom. The right to be who you are is also called feedom. If the parents have a problem with your sexual preference on Facebook, then they need to contact Facebook and tell them about it, however, Facebook will write back and tell them that it is none of their business basically and they are a non-discrimatory foundation. The foundations that you support on Facebook are no one else\'s business as well. If you instructor has a problem with it then he needs to contact Facebook as well, and be told the same as mentioned above. Damn, Damn, Damn. This makes me angry! Fuck \'em---It\'s none of their business and, Oney, you need to tell them so!
Well, then I guess that in this country there is no freedom. Thanks for your support as always.