Reminders to Self....

Having alcoholism and dry drunks in the family.... I have to continually remind myself of a number of things.... I let my guard down and I forget... I start feeling better and then I let my boundaries and my guard down... so ... this entry is for ME... just to remind myself of what I need.... 

1. I am not dealing with a sane person. I am dealing w/ a disease. They are sometimes totally overcome by their disease. At that point I am dealing with insanity.

2. Just bc I feel better does not mean that THEY are better.

3. Just bc they have a good moment does not mean they are CURED. I still have to hold my boundaries.

4. I cannot tell my true feelings. Feelings of anger mean "abandonment". I cannot be angry with her or she goes into a panic mode and becomes very very defensive. I cannot talk to her when I am mad.

5. I will not talk to her when SHE is mad. She is verbally very abusive and I do not have to take it.

6. I will not involve my husband. He does not understand.

7. I will not involve MD or MB. It is not their problem. 

8. I will stay in touch with my sponsor.

9. I called mental health services today. They can see me and my mom. YAY  This was very good news for me.

10. I will record my phone calls and conversations with her via email/ text . 

11. I will talk to supportive ppl and get the help that I need to stay calm and remain in peace.