reminders and memories

Well... This is a great group of people here... and they help they really do... Just wish that I had never had a reason to be here... but seeing I do... I'm glad that I've found DS... Yesterday was my son's Birth Day... Hard to believe that he would have been 39 this birthday and that he has now been dead longer than he was alive... Unbelievable... sad... My heart weeps, and my mind cries out to what and to whom... wondering whyyyyy?  This is a bad month for me... Paul and Tracy were both killed withing 3 weeks of each other and Tracy's birthday is right around the corner as well.  She would have been 37 this coming April 28th and that floors me... I still can't understand and don't know if I ever will... Yes I've accepted the things that I cannot change... but still don't understand... I'm a glad that I have the faith in God to believe that there is more to life than what we see here... that there is life after this... and that is my comfort... Knowing that there is more for them than what I can see.  I miss them both... there birthdays and their dates of death... Extremely hard for me... But.. yes I can do this... Hey you guys... miss ya's.. love ya's... Hugs from MAMA... Today... I'll bring flowers for ya's... (((((((((mwahhhhhhhhhhhhh)))))))))))