Remembering the past

7years my uncle has been gone now and I remember at that time I wanted no more then to take my own life , I planed for the following year to take mine after my brothers wedding but I didn't for my mother because she would just die on the inside if I did , life is crazy how things work now i can tolerate life and Doing thugs as best as I can but its hard, I think another hard thing is to see my uncles kids having there own baby's and knowing he won't be able to hold them, but I know he's watching over all of them keeping an eye on things like he couldn't do in life form on this crazy world.