Remembering
Reading entries from my DS friends and gradually adding new ones is such a tremendous support. When I am having a particularly difficult time I find myself going to DS for encouragement.
This morning I faced a challenge as I saw water coming from under my refrigerator. I called my son who figured it out, thank God it is the ice maker water line and not the appliance failing.
This brought back such memories of my dear, wonderful, and very capable husband who would handle these kind of issues with such calmness and efficiency. This brought me back (again) to the day he passed away. One minute we were talking and 30 minutes later he is down in the back yard from a sudden death heart attack. Five months have passed since and it still seems like yesterday and a dream. It is so hard to accept as he did not have any heart issues prior.
I am gradually accepting the reality and know I will find myself at some point. Right now most everything I do is because I have to and it feels like I am functioning through a fog. I look forward to the day I can enjoy what I am doing. I know it will happen. I sense my husband pushing me out the door to live. It is just so hard when you were so very dedicated to each other and did most everything together.
There is added stress as some family members are having some hard times. I worry about them but know I must come first. It is difficult.
I will make it!
This morning I faced a challenge as I saw water coming from under my refrigerator. I called my son who figured it out, thank God it is the ice maker water line and not the appliance failing.
This brought back such memories of my dear, wonderful, and very capable husband who would handle these kind of issues with such calmness and efficiency. This brought me back (again) to the day he passed away. One minute we were talking and 30 minutes later he is down in the back yard from a sudden death heart attack. Five months have passed since and it still seems like yesterday and a dream. It is so hard to accept as he did not have any heart issues prior.
I am gradually accepting the reality and know I will find myself at some point. Right now most everything I do is because I have to and it feels like I am functioning through a fog. I look forward to the day I can enjoy what I am doing. I know it will happen. I sense my husband pushing me out the door to live. It is just so hard when you were so very dedicated to each other and did most everything together.
There is added stress as some family members are having some hard times. I worry about them but know I must come first. It is difficult.
I will make it!
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