Remember when...
I was just thinkin... (do you smell smoke)about when I first found Daily Strenght online...Here I wasn't so alone... there were so many others that ...knew and understood the pain and loneliness I was going thru...I had such a small list of Friends I could visit their journal daily...comment and blog ...In return they were also commentin back and it really saved Me...I never could turn down some one that needed a Friend... so my list hasgrown into the 40's... that's a bunch in my book lol... Although now as this site has grown and changed... seems that the personal journals are vistited less in favor of the new Groups..There are some great groups too... I've joined several...well about twenty five in all...I kinda feel like the Dinosaur... this Daily Strength site is Evolving...and I am not...I has indeed been a wonder experience for me..I've made new friends...recieved friendship ...Love...Understanding...and most of all Support...I've found great joy, and comfort coming here daily...I've tried to return the Hope and comfort , that I've recieved here online...I hope that some how I've brought a smile to someones face and for a moment the laughter chased away the pain.. and loneliness so many of us suffer....I have to admit i even fell in Love...It is thru the help of all my friends here on DS...that I finally found peace with the pain in my heart from my Divorce...I still hold fast the wonderful memories of my marriage...my family... my children and grand children...As I sit here today...Humbled by the fact that this site helps me thru the day...I truly thank all my friends... even though we may not get to chat everyday... i still visit your sites . look for your journals...i don't always get to comment..this last two months has been a totally new experience in Pain..If there is a lesson here to be learned ... well I'll be the first to admitt..I just don't get it...except.... that I learned that I can still be man enuff to push through the worse pain I've had in Years....I'mnot braggin... I'm just tryin to explain.. why I was hiding and distance...cause for over a month, every time I got up the pain made me wet myself... I smelt of Pee.. I felt discusted with myself... alone and depressed.... at time I welcomed Death... but I didnt pray for it... I've gone down that dark path once or twice in my life...Now in these final years I wanna live... I wanna be happy and as pain freeas I can... If just for a short while... so I can find love and share it once more...play with my grandkids and tinker in the back yard...watch my children and grand children grow... and wittness the wonderfulblessing of our Creator everyday...till God calls... and then I can happily say ...Here I am... my heart is Glad... Father...My bible bangin son... he said something of real profoundness...He said he realized God didn't need him... that when he prayed he was .renewing his faith with God...I think my son is becomeing quite a fine youngman.... a wonderful father....dang I' m proud of him...think he startin to understand Dad a little better...well I guess three outta four aint too bad...Awe I'm teasin... DJ's a great kid... he's gonna make it... reckon I will too...most of my life is over...But ya know... Some times the shortest path can be the longest...take careLaters Russ
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