Relieved

I went to an ALANON meeting today and feel a little relieved, and yesterday I sent my kids to Ann ALATeen.  My AH has been in a rehab for over a month now, and I’ve been struggling with a lot of thoughts in my head resentment, fear, anger, and some some anxiety.  I went out to see him this past weekend scared to death of the outcome, but I feel like there’s still some hope and I realized that I’m just as sick as he is because of this disease we’re dealing with.  I really felt heard by him for the first time in a very long time.  We talked, wept, and embarrassed, and he really never realized just how much we’ve suffered from his addiction too.  It really put things into perspective for the both of us.  The ALANON meeting was a result from the visit and I’m happy I went.  I really just wanted to feel connected with other people and not feel alone in this, but also try to get a handle on my emotions.  I have a lot of work to do, but I’m willing to do it for the sake of our family.  I’ve come from an alcoholic family growing up and now married to one I can see how I missed all of the signs.  Sometimes you need to open up to others in order to heal, and I hope and pray for the best.