Released....
Well, I must say - after the Janet incident, somehow that must have been what I needed to do. Last week was such a good week for me. Watched Wesley play in 3 tennis tournaments at his school - local is always nice as it is hard for me to travel too far to see him. By the time I get there, he is usually done. So, after work I went and sat and just enjoyed visiting with other parents and watch him play and cheer him on. Sara went as well, but being the socialite she is, usually hooked up with her friends and walked around to visit and watch her boyfriend run track. As it should be...lol But for me, the best part was when Glenn showed up my heart didnt race, I didnt want to strangle him, I felt nothing. It was shocking really. I know now that when I see him it is almost like I dont know who he is and that has finally enabled me to not react. It has been almost a year, and my heart and blood pressure thanks me I am sure. I dont know why exactly it has started being like this, but I am very thankful. It is unbelievable to me that I can see a man I was with for 23 years and look at him and say - who is that? what has he become? Thank you for turning into something that I want nothing to do with. His relationship with Sara is almost non existent and as far as Wes, he wants to have the dad he used to have so badly, but I think he sees that he is just not that person anymore. Today I am taking Sara and her boyfriend to celebrate a year of "going out" oh my, her friend and boyfriend to lunch and a movie. Of course, I am just the taxi and am not going to either just dropping them off. But, I am going to lowes and buying my flowers today. I can kill alot of time at lowes. Want to know the best part of that? I found a gift card when I was going thru things and thought there is no way anything could be on this. X gets one every year from work. So I thought, what the hell - called the number to check the balance and it has $100 on it - So HE is actually buying my flowers.........how sweet is that.....LOL I think I will walk around the flea market over there as well. I never do anything for myself, but I am today and giving the kids a goodtime as well. Today is wonderful.......I am so thankful as the road has been filled with much sadness, anger, resentment and all that crap that weighs you down. It is so true that time is a great healer......only problem is it takes forever!!!!! Hope everyone enjoys their weekend....thanks to everyone for all your support - you are the reason the healing continues. THANKS! XXXOOO
Replies
I\'m going to Lowes to buy flowers today too! So I\'ll be with you in spirit. I am so happy for you and the place you have gotten to and you inspire me with every word you write - so thank you for that. Buy some good stuff!
Sometimes facing \"the worst\" is very liberating. I don\'t know what I would do if I encountered my stbx with his girlfriend. I met her back when I was ignorant; he brought her to our home and introduced her as a friend. How naive I was! Anyhow, I\'m hoping your weekend stays sunny! Enjoy the $100 shopping spree your ex provided.
You go girl, I could tell that you are definitely on your way, good luck in finding the flowers you want, enjoy them even more knowing you didn\'t have to pay for them. always just J
Hi you, I am glad you working through it. I would by you flowers myself. Good luck with all. PS: and tennis rocks - I love it and hope Wesley keeps it up. hugs.
You wrote, \"I felt nothing\" after seeing your ex. I learned from someone here that indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love. The Janet thing may have been a turning point and you put all that behind you! Between that and the free money at Lowe\'s you\'re really taking off! You sounded incredibly positive in your journal entry- great job and keep it up!