Release Self-Judgment and Guilt

Our class lesson for tonight...should be interesting!
 
Release Self-Judgment and Guilt
Whether I know it or not, I am always attacking myself. I may believe that I am attaching you, but that’s just an illusion. Of course, sometimes you buy into the illusion too, and then you take offense. That’s how the world turns.
But, in truth, I cannot attack you. I can only attack myself. Everything I project onto you comes home to me. Thought is a perfect boomerang. It always returns to the one who sent it out.
It doesn’t have anything to do with punishment. Many people, even those who believe in karma, don’t understand that. Nobody is being punished for his sins. He’s just getting back what he put out so that he can become aware of it. If he puts out anger, anger comes back to him, because he needs to become responsible for his anger. He must own everything he puts out. Only by owning it, will it be released.
It is a simple law. We don’t have to beat each other with it. We don’t have to say, “There you go, you creep. I knew you’d get yours back.” We don’t have to play God. We’re not needed for that role. We just need to understand that we are going to keep on making mistakes until we learn our lessons. We are going to keep on projecting negative and positive qualities onto others so long as we are unwilling to own them in ourselves. We are going to keep on attacking others until we own the attack.
Owning the attack is just a way of short-circuiting the process. I say ”Okay, anger, I know you belong to me, so I am not going to pretend that you belong to someone else.” That doesn’t mean that I don’t express the anger. If it’s there, it’s my responsibility to express it. But I must do so knowing it belongs to me. That way it does not have to go out, stick to someone who feels guilty enough to pick it up, and then come back to me through some form of quiet resentment.
I take responsibility for the anger. I understand that it is not you, but me whom I attack. I don’t get lost in the projection, or at least I don’t when I am successful.
Success doesn’t happen all the time or all at once. Sometimes I attack you and sometimes I own my attack. When I attack you, I feel guilty, because I believe that I can hurt you. I carry that guilt around, and then when you or someone else attacks me, my guilt invites the attack to stick. It’s all very bizarre.
Whenever I strike out at you I feel terrible. That establishes me as a target for attack. Strangers with stored up anger sense a potential victim coming when I pass by. Even German Shepherds pick-up the scent.
Every time I attack you, I establish my own guilt. If you don’t think this is true, read Dostovevsky’s Crime and Punishment. In the novel, Roskolnikov tries to create the perfect crime. He believes that if he kills “for a good reason” he will not feel guilty about it. It doesn’t work.
True, he isn’t caught. He gets away with it. But he can’t live with the guilt. Eventually, he turns himself in.
That’s what we all have to do: turn ourselves in. As soon as we attack, we need to remember that we are establishing our guilt.
Let’s fess up right away. To hell with justifying our actions! We know attack cannot be justified. So let’s just take responsibility for bringing healing to ourselves and others.
“I made a mistake, brother. I attacked you because I was afraid. I thought I had a right to attack you, but I was wrong. Forgive me. Help me get back on track.”
When I make my attack a call for love, my brothers and sisters allow me to approach them. This is a gesture of reconciliation.
If I recognize my attack and take responsibility to correct it, I do not establish my guilt. Guilt is established when I justify my attack and refuse to make amends.
Chronic guilt is nothing more than the consistent refusal to take responsibility for recognizing and learning from my mistakes. Nobody becomes a punching bag without cause. Yet often the cause is hidden deeply in the psyche.
Every attack I make on you is an attack on myself. That attack an be a very subtle form of judgment, yet if repeated over and over it continually gives me the message that I am inadequate.
It is not coincidence that those individuals who have the lowest self-esteem are the same people who make the greatest number of judgments of other people. The more we judge others, the more we subconsciously judge ourselves.
All projections return. That is the function of guilt. On some level, it refused to let our attack leave us. We simply can not attack others without feeling responsible for the attack on some level of our being.
When we make this responsibility conscious, we can begin to heal. When we allow it to remain unconscious, we attract events which force us to become conscious not only of our trespasses against others, but of the deep self-hatred behind them.
Guilt and responsibility are mutually exclusive. Guilt hold onto the wound and so prevents it from healing. Responsibility is the first step in the healing process.
To let go of self-judgment and guilt, we must begin to take responsibility for our attack against others. We must become conscious of our projections as they happen.
Becoming conscious of our attack, we see the cause behind it. We see our own fears, our deep-seated judgments and feelings of inadequacy. We see our deep call for love.
That is essential. We cannot begin to forgive ourselves until we realize that all of our darkness is a call for light, and all our anger and hurt is a call for love. We need to acknowledge this, or we take our awareness and use it to beat ourselves.
We must not underestimate the danger of this. If we give our healing process over to the ego, it will be it will be another wounding process. Only Spirit may be in charge of our healing, for Spirit affirms us at the same time that it encourages us to make amends and learn from our mistakes.
I am not evil because I attacked you, nor are you evil because you attached me. Our attack on each other comes from a deep sense of inadequacy in both of us. It comes from a place where neither you nor I feel loved.
Recognizing this is the beginning of a call to grace. It is the beginning of seeing, even in the darkness, with the eyes of love.
So long as I crucify myself or you for making a mistake, our healing cannot begin. It is not the mistake that matters. It is the learning, the growing, the change in perception that the mistake brings up.
When I see that, I make my lessons okay. I make your lessons okay. I have a ground to proceed on. Reconciliation and reconstruction begin on this ground. This is the true foundation of healing, in forgiveness of all mistakes and in gratitude for the awareness’s they bring.
Remember, responsibility does not come from the ego. Guilt does. Guilt continues the sense of separation. It keep the wound open.
Guilt says: “Nothing I do will ever be enough to make amends for my wrongs”
Responsibility says: “I opened this wound and I can close it.”
It is important to know the difference.
Many new age ideas have been taken up by our egos as tools not for growth, but for punishing ourselves and others. Many people who got really sick had to listen to drivel like : “You made yourself sick. It’s your anger that gave you cancer. You aren’t healing because you are still holding onto your anger.” Talk about a guilt trip? That’s just the ego trying to run the “responsibility tape.” It doesn’t work.
When Spirit is in charge of the responsibility program it makes everything all right. It makes this place of cancer or whatever a place to grow from. It doesn’t measure progress with external standards. It just says: there is a place within where peace can be found.
When we are talking about healing, we are talking about the release of self-judgments and guilt over the mistakes of the past. It involves responsibility and gentleness. It is a letting go of what doesn’t belong to us.
It is a washing clean of the sticky substance that appeared on our skin when we proceeded to justify our judgments of others. It is a bathing of the whole soul in love and acceptance.
 
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hi Vicki,

Thanks for the post. I agree with most of the statements. :-)

Enjoy your class!

Hugs,

Shar
vjewel
vjewel

Thanks Shar...I think I do too!
thegobetween
thegobetween

Love, love, love your photograph! You are so beautiful!

Some of the lines above, seriously moved my soul.....especially the idea that I attack others because I am afraid.

Thank you xxxx
Richeart
Richeart

This is really good and insightful. Thanks for posting it!

I understand it, now I need to practice it too. Understanding it is not enough, doing it consistently will be, and will help me feel better in the long-run.

Hugszzz,

Rich
ButterCupPrincess
ButterCupPrincess

The first line really got my attention... \"When I attack you I am attacking myself.... I may believe I\'m attacking you but it\'s an illusion\". That illusion is our ego right? It is our ego that projects blame, judging, guilt... all of the above. Form everything I\'ve learned lately, I realize that the ego operates on a very superficial level. A very superficial and shallow level... it\'s like the frame work of a house without the substance of the house. I know that I operate about 99% of the time on the level of my ego. When I can push past that, as you encourage in your journal entry here, I can see at a deeper level that there is a deeper meaning behind things. Even my own behaviors that I hadn\'t given much thought to.... especially my own behaviors that I hadn\'t given much thought to.

Thanks for your sharing and for your encouraging. Some days I ask myself why do I want to keep reading, trying... why don\'t I just be \"lazy\"... listen to the radio and let my babbling mind take over... thanks for encouraging me to keep working on a more focused path. I appreciate you :)
Lisa