relaxing sunday
today i copied some cd's and repainted a beautiful ceramic angel. we are going to put it on my sisters grave for mothers day. jess her youngest bought her a swan with flowers in it because she thinks her mom will really like them. she said, "i know she will know i thought of her and she will be proud of me". i did not have the heart to tell her that her mom will never know what she did. kids are the greatest. they have such great imaginations. they are so inocent.how will she turn out? do you think she will ever get over losing her mom? or will she grow up feeling lost and unloved? and what about the other two? how is awkward chris handle the rest of his life without his mom? and what about brittany? will she ever be the same way she used to be? these are the things that i think about. that are weighing on my mind. i cannot do anything to help them and this bothers me so much. i have no power to do anything... life sucks.
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What if she\'s right, Jeanne? What if her mom will know. Are you so certain that what we call death is an end? As for the kids being the way they used to be, no, they will not. Doesn\'t mean they will be \"worse\" or \"better\", just different than they would have if their mom lived. These children need love and guidance more than anything else right now. What makes you think you can do nothing to help, that you have no power? Your power is only limited by your perception of its limitations. Bless your heart, Jeanne. You have gifts to offer our world, you only have to recognize them.
it just breaks my heart to think that god would take their mama and leave them with their sorry fathers. and then leave my husband to live. he complains everyday that he has to live in pain and his leg hurts and blah, blah, blah!!! in my heart i do not believe that she will know but i do not let the kids know that that is the way i feel. i do not will not break their hopes dreams or hearts. they have been hurt enough... i do not have anything to offer this world especially no gifts. i realize that ithey need love and giudance. ihave been screaming this as loud as i can. but noone is listening. igive them all i can and more. i am drained.
I had too many devine interventions NOT to believe that those that passed do not know! never take that thought away from that kid...I believe that the spirit lives on! xo
i know what my beliefs are and although i may not believe it i would not in any way try to change her mind. when she gets older then she will accept what she accepts. i will never take her hopes, wishes or dreams away... i love her too much. and she has been thru too much. that is the way she is managing the stress of losing her mom!