Relaxing

Today had been a relaxing day. Happy to have somewhere to live and the things we need. I want to feel sad about not having my phone turned on which is killing me....but I gambled the money to pay it a week ago.i made that decision to go into the casino. I made that conscience decision to walk into the casino!!! I am thinking about how that day went to where I made the decision to go into the casino. I planned in my head to go that morning. I entertained the thought throughout the day. My mistake was keeping this a secret, instead of exposing my urge and my plan. I know now I have to fully expose each urge and protect myself from gambling. I am triggered by my husband. When he says "I feel lucky" or "if we can just get 200 dollars". I will expose the trigger and ask for help if it is turned into an urge. I feel protected this week. I have to journal daily, stay focused... Get to a GA meeting keep my guard up!! I can do this!!!