Relationships

When a couple has been together for almost 4 years you look at the future. With all the ups and downs a couple manages to stay together. I'm feeling in a boat to where I have given up. After a split for about 8 months hoping that things would work out. We got back together and harder than anything. You are afraid to let go and then you realize everything. As a person continues with everyday life and I sit here wondering if there is a future. When a person puts walls up, and tells you about you that makes you part of the past. I've been everything possible to save things. Ive done everything possible to fix things. I've tired so hard. I'm at a point to where all I do is cry and wonder if I can ever be happy in a relationship anymore. In the past 5 years, I have been ask by 3 different people to marry them. No, I've always had my life on one person. For that one person, its a struggle to see the things that are happening. We go out and seems like different world. 

I"m at a breaking point to where I don't care about anything. I'm afraid to bowl with him because I know things will be different when we leave. I would like to have a relationship again to where I see my love just about everyday. I don't think that will ever happen. Tired of this. 

Even though had a great day yesterday working and then seeing concerts with my love it all seems to fall apart somehow. Tired of it all. I would love to put everything in the past and move on with a new life. It takes two people to make that commitment and not one. If would get married again it would be to my love today.