rejection

I go to church but they’ve shut their doorThey say I’m not welcome anymoreI feel the water in my eyeI turn away and start to cry  I should’ve kept it all insideThen I wouldn’t need to hideI deserve to be all aloneLeft to rot without a phone  I brought myself all this troubleI should be locked up in a bubbleI don’t deserve friends who careI shouldn’t be welcome anywhere  All I do is hurt everyoneI don’t know how to have real funI deserve the pain I am givenBecause of the life I am livin  Maybe these were all just dreamsAnd my life isn’t what it seemsAm I just living a lieDo I even deserve to cry  I’m so confused about it allWhen is the next time I will fallI don’t deserve to laugh or cryI don’t deserve to even die  I deserve to suffer long and hardI have dealt myself this painful cardI caused all this don’t you seeI even killed my own baby  I made him think it was okayTo do that to me everyday I gave up fighting way too quickThinking of it makes me sick  My baby didn’t deserve to dieMy baby deserves to live and cryThey say it is better this wayBut I think of it everyday I should’ve fought harder that dayThen maybe I wouldn’t need to payMy life is like a living hellWhy did I have to go and tell