reinstalling computer app

so my computer crashed and i'm trying to reinstall. with some time on my hands i found an interesting article. the #5 &#9 sound like me. i made a bad decision and will have to live with the issue for several years to come. my anxiety/depression goes back to feeling like my dream was crushed and not being able to fix this problem by myself in a controlled manner. every month i pay the bills and it makes me sad. i put myself in a bad position...but making myself sad/depressed and feeling hopeless will NOT help and only makes things worse. the big question is how do i fix myself? i really hope therapy gives me a better idea but i have to do this myself in my own mind. i know i have family & friends to support me :)  i know God is back in my life...i think this is part of the lesson. i feel i strayed from everyone and everything when i felt things were good. perhaps this is a lesson to bring me back to God and family. a hard lesson indeed. i know others have much bigger problems then i do...God i know so well...but your own pain no matter where it comes from is real to you.  i need to grow up and face the issue in front of me. it's hard when one is pre-disposed to anxiety/depression. it creates a vicious cycle of sadness & hopelessness which makes it even harder to deal with things.  i will get through this as will we all....i look forward to the day this lesson is over...and i become a better person having endured :)  5. One characteristic of negative thinkers is their need to have the world behave according to their wishes. They have never grown up and still live with childish demands. Whenever people and the world fail to act according to their selfish wishes, they are unhappy. Such a poisonous attitude prevents them from growing and learning how to cope with life's challenges. 9. Another adverse effect of negativity is that it sets one up for the magic-bullet-syndrome. That is, the victim of ‘negativitis’ spends their time looking for a quick, easy fix, when none exists. By denying a fundamental law of life that states anything worthwhile requires effort to achieve, they achieve nothing. They won’t make progress until they realize that nothing in life is free. They’ve got to be willing to do what it takes to get what they want. http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/negativethinking.htm