Reflections on a Relapse
So, I slipped just after my sister died. My heavy-smoker friend came down to be with me, and I finally just said, "Oh, Hell, give me one of those." Then I had a few more. Then on July 5th, I found out my best friend had started back, and I bummed a few from him. Still didn't go get any, and vowed to get back on the horse, or wagon, and did. Then a few weeks later, had my 3rd lumbar injection, and three days later my nerve pain returned, and I just gave up and gave in. Bought cigarettes for the first time in 6-1/2 months. Bought really nasty cheap ones. About halfway thru the pack, I started feeling that tightness in my chest. After the first pack, I started coughing up that gunky stuff and had difficulty talking (which is my JOB) because of it. I stunk. My dirty clothes stunk. I began to feel enslaved again. Had to take time off from whatever I was doing to go feed my addiction. In the heat. In the rain. At work. I was ashamed. Felt weak. My diabetes went a little haywire, too. Got dizzy headed a lot, felt famished. No energy. REALLY MISERABLE! Now I've had radio frequency and the nerve pain is gone. Thank GOD! Set my quit date 9/11, and so far, so good. Lesson learned: Never Give Up on Yourself. Another lesson learned: Smoking Doesn't Help ANYTHING - In Fact, It Hurts.Really glad to be back here on DS, and was surprised how my few friends kept checking on me. In fact, one even e-mailed my Yahoo account, and I was very grateful. This is a good place to be, and I hope I'm back for a LOoong time!
Replies
You had a lot piled on you at a known danger point (6 months). Good to see you back. This would make a good forum post, too. Excellent description of how \"not good\" it was for you. Blessings.
I have chills my friend! What a description you\'ve written! A good reminder that I never want to go back. Glad you\'re here with us, have a beautiful day and keep on keeping your quit!!! Visit with you soon, and again so glad you\'re back!
never give up no matter how many times you fail girl, the most successful people who have ever existed on this planet have probably failed more times than most of us! i have just come across your journal randomly in case you were wandering. i have failed many times myself at quitting smoking, i am finally beating it though! take care
I had quit 17 years ago. Then in a moment of weakness began again when all my co-workers were smoking and we were allowed to do it on the job. Wow, what a bad idea. Then a year later, I got Bronchitis, Pneumonia, Homophalous Influenza, and Influenza B all within two months in Jan/Feb 08. My doc said if I had been ten years older it probably would have killed me. I put them down again in Jan when I first got pneumonia. I am trying hard right now to stay quit. I will pray for you, because I know just how truly hard it is.
No doubt it is a difficult addiction to kick. Good luck Carrie.
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Hi there. I just read your story. What a champion you are. Don\'t give up. Well, you can give up the smokes, but not hope! I gave up over a year ago. I did a program called smokenders in Australia. It is a worldwide program started in USA in the 60s. Best thing I have ever done! I feel so free and empowered, my lungs are great and I am saving so much cash!! I do not work for this company but I just wanted to tell you about them and how much it help me. Since doing the program my views on everything shifted for the better. Good Luck!