Reflections (may trigger)
A lot of the abuse I received as a kid was from my dad. I remember for some reason I liked to go to the bathroom outside, not #1 but #2, kids do strange things. One time my dad found out and grabbed me by the hair and rubbed my face in it. While doing this he would tell me if I'm going to act like a dog then I would get treated like one. After the humiliation he would make me pick it up with my mouth and hands and take it inside to flush it.
I remember having problems wetting the bed a lot. I wore diapers up til middle school.
Any time my dad would find out that I had wet the bed, he would rub my face in it.
When I wet or pooped my pants he would make me wear my dirty underwear on my head. He said his mom use to do the same to him and so it was considered discipline.
One time I was putting my pink belt around my cat for a collar, like normal kids do to their pets, my dad saw it and took it off the cat and put it around my neck and choked me with it. I was taught in school how to check to see if pet collars were too tight and when I checked with my cat, I could stick my fingers through, so it was perfectly safe.
I remember my younger brother use to get the most brunt of the abuse. And I felt so helpless because I was too small to protect him.
Later on I met a guy when I was 19. He was 45. We both had a lot in common so I thought it would work. He was an alcoholic though and a year in a half into the relationship the abuse started. He was in the services, special forces to be exact. He had a habit of using his skills out on me. I remember it ending in the bathroom one night when he smashed my head into the bathroom wall so hard I blacked out. Then he squatted down where I was laying in the tub, with a look of pure hate. This wasn't the man I fell in love with anymore. Luckily I was fed up with the abuse just in one night and I was gone.
I moved back in with my mom and decided to go back to school. So I did. I'm not pursuing that course anymore because I am now disabled due to my HS and other things but just knowing that I was able to leave when so many women put up with the abuse, that's gotta account for something.
I remember having problems wetting the bed a lot. I wore diapers up til middle school.
Any time my dad would find out that I had wet the bed, he would rub my face in it.
When I wet or pooped my pants he would make me wear my dirty underwear on my head. He said his mom use to do the same to him and so it was considered discipline.
One time I was putting my pink belt around my cat for a collar, like normal kids do to their pets, my dad saw it and took it off the cat and put it around my neck and choked me with it. I was taught in school how to check to see if pet collars were too tight and when I checked with my cat, I could stick my fingers through, so it was perfectly safe.
I remember my younger brother use to get the most brunt of the abuse. And I felt so helpless because I was too small to protect him.
Later on I met a guy when I was 19. He was 45. We both had a lot in common so I thought it would work. He was an alcoholic though and a year in a half into the relationship the abuse started. He was in the services, special forces to be exact. He had a habit of using his skills out on me. I remember it ending in the bathroom one night when he smashed my head into the bathroom wall so hard I blacked out. Then he squatted down where I was laying in the tub, with a look of pure hate. This wasn't the man I fell in love with anymore. Luckily I was fed up with the abuse just in one night and I was gone.
I moved back in with my mom and decided to go back to school. So I did. I'm not pursuing that course anymore because I am now disabled due to my HS and other things but just knowing that I was able to leave when so many women put up with the abuse, that's gotta account for something.
Replies
you have been thru so much- just the fact that ur here and ur still going is extraordinary- to say the least! thanks for being here, talking, giving me a minute to think about something other than my own stuff. hope u have a good day!
I admire your strength to leave, not many women can do it and I am proud that you did.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in my problems but that others too share some of them with me.
Hugs!