reflection..

This weekend was one of the most challenging and I know it was God walking me through it. I had to pray at least every couple of hours because i felt to emotional. First my period showed up on Thursday and it was almost 2 weeks early. I guess it was the birth control?? then I started taking the meds for my high prolactin and it makes my stomach icky. Then, I had this girl who was my best friend. We were suppose to have babies at the same time so they grow up together, our husbands were suppose to be close etc etc. Well, I got married first and one year later she got married. Well after her wedding day, I never heard from her again. I never knew what I did wrong and I called and called and she never returned my calls. I wrecked my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong. Well, I remember a comment that she made which was "you and your boyfriend better not get married before me" I am convinced as well as my family is that she was jeolous. I hate that!! I have had such a hard time with girlfriends, I am not tooting my own horn, but I cherish friendships but my so called girlfriends ALWAYS do my dirty!! THey just up and don't want to have anything to do with me....seriously I don't do crap to these women but try and be a friend!! ANYWAYS, today I saw my ex-best friend's friend.  I asked how she was doing and she said fine she now has a 2 year old. Well this might sound crazy but I has so hurt when she said that. I guess because I wasn't apart of that. I was suppose to be the God mom etc etc.   Then, I was thought she has kids and I don't and a flood of emotion took hold of me.  I feel like I had to shake myself because I want to be a parent so bad. EVERYONE I KNOW HAS KIDS EXCEPT ME!!!!! I AM SO SICK OF IT!!!! SIGH!! I have to not let this get the best of me. I have a wonderful husband who adores me, I job I love and family who loves me. I am in great health and I know my turn is coming soon. I just had to vent!!