Reflection
Read through old journal entries here dating back to end of relationship I got out of soon before the relationship with my recent exbf. I wanted an overview of the relationship with my ex. I am surprized how detached I sounded when describing being stalked by him when we broke up. It was horribly traumatizing. I am really dealing with some serious anxiety around people.
Need to deal with some of this fear of people. The AA promises include "fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us" and these are fulfilled when we do our 9th step, which I've been stuck on for years.
I recently went through a long period of withdrawn isolation, moreso then ever in sobriety. Last week I finally started to call some people and reach out. I've become a lot picky-er who I feel safe with. Since my closest friend and I who I have been al anon cosponsors with are on different confusing terms, unhealthy in my opinion, I have been really withdrawn.
I am so tired of trying to communicate with her and I am feeling closure is not going to happen but I am making steps to move on and find an an anon sponsor. The situation with her is not working. It is self respecting for me to move on at this point. It has been a hard situation.
I am most of way the way through a year of not dating, nothing. Feel nowhere near ready to date. My self esteem and sense of self worth are very low. I wouldn't attract someone healthy. The one guy I started to have an attraction with, I realize was an extremely unhealthy situation I avoided.
Working more in the last two months than I have in almost two years, having gone practically without work for way too long. Financially I am also falling behind which is scary, common.
My relationship with God is good, really a strength these days.
I am doing online meetings like when I was new in sobriety which was good.
Goal to do 15 minutes of decluttering daily.
Very grateful for DS. Time to give myself some new goals.
Need to deal with some of this fear of people. The AA promises include "fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us" and these are fulfilled when we do our 9th step, which I've been stuck on for years.
I recently went through a long period of withdrawn isolation, moreso then ever in sobriety. Last week I finally started to call some people and reach out. I've become a lot picky-er who I feel safe with. Since my closest friend and I who I have been al anon cosponsors with are on different confusing terms, unhealthy in my opinion, I have been really withdrawn.
I am so tired of trying to communicate with her and I am feeling closure is not going to happen but I am making steps to move on and find an an anon sponsor. The situation with her is not working. It is self respecting for me to move on at this point. It has been a hard situation.
I am most of way the way through a year of not dating, nothing. Feel nowhere near ready to date. My self esteem and sense of self worth are very low. I wouldn't attract someone healthy. The one guy I started to have an attraction with, I realize was an extremely unhealthy situation I avoided.
Working more in the last two months than I have in almost two years, having gone practically without work for way too long. Financially I am also falling behind which is scary, common.
My relationship with God is good, really a strength these days.
I am doing online meetings like when I was new in sobriety which was good.
Goal to do 15 minutes of decluttering daily.
Very grateful for DS. Time to give myself some new goals.
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