reflecting
Sometime back (about 4 years ago) when I was at my all time low ~ I wrote many distraught journals on this site. I reached out to people I thought could give me support and guidance. They all did and they were so helpful and kind ~ except for one. He was convinced that my son was a heroin addict (like his son) and would berate me and make me feel a lot worse than I already was feeling. He was very strange and a bit scary ~ not to mention. I see that he's back in the board discussions and it brought back some ugly memories. It was so strange because there was no reason to be so abusive. Apparently, I guess I was the only one of a few that were bothered by him.
I understand that he was distraught himself and he was, obviously, not going to Al Anon or getting any "real" support because of the way he treated me. He had the advantage of having a brother who had had some addiction issues (and I think lost his life) so he knew about addiction and the behavior that goes along with it. I was green. I had no idea and was trying to learn. He acted as if I should know it and even told me that he was going to "delete" me as a "friend". I was relieved and cannot believe I didn't "delete" him long before. All I know is that I am glad that I didn't give it right back to him. I guess I knew he was hurting too.
Anyway ~ none of his predictions about my son came true. None of it. My son didn't become a heroin addict, like he said. In fact, when T-Man went to rehab - for his "drug story" he admitted to trying it twice. I know when each of those times he tried them because I followed his conversations on line and they matched up to his behavior. He was only 16 at the time. One time he got sick and threw up, and the other was when he was arrested in our home for his out of control behavior (he was tested at the hospital and he had opiates in his system).
Why did I bring this up? I don't know. Maybe it's because this person re-entered the picture ~ so to speak. And with all that's been going on with my other son, J, and my concern over him being at risk for being on these pain medications and the possibility of him having to have additional surgery ~ it may have something to do with it. In fact, J expressed to me the other day that he's afraid he'll become dependent on them. All I know is that he didn't ask for one today. Why my hubby had to bring it up and ask him if he wants one is beyond me. Whatever....... at least we're all aware of the potential risks......
I understand that he was distraught himself and he was, obviously, not going to Al Anon or getting any "real" support because of the way he treated me. He had the advantage of having a brother who had had some addiction issues (and I think lost his life) so he knew about addiction and the behavior that goes along with it. I was green. I had no idea and was trying to learn. He acted as if I should know it and even told me that he was going to "delete" me as a "friend". I was relieved and cannot believe I didn't "delete" him long before. All I know is that I am glad that I didn't give it right back to him. I guess I knew he was hurting too.
Anyway ~ none of his predictions about my son came true. None of it. My son didn't become a heroin addict, like he said. In fact, when T-Man went to rehab - for his "drug story" he admitted to trying it twice. I know when each of those times he tried them because I followed his conversations on line and they matched up to his behavior. He was only 16 at the time. One time he got sick and threw up, and the other was when he was arrested in our home for his out of control behavior (he was tested at the hospital and he had opiates in his system).
Why did I bring this up? I don't know. Maybe it's because this person re-entered the picture ~ so to speak. And with all that's been going on with my other son, J, and my concern over him being at risk for being on these pain medications and the possibility of him having to have additional surgery ~ it may have something to do with it. In fact, J expressed to me the other day that he's afraid he'll become dependent on them. All I know is that he didn't ask for one today. Why my hubby had to bring it up and ask him if he wants one is beyond me. Whatever....... at least we're all aware of the potential risks......
Replies
When there are negative things flying about from an outside source, it\'s hard to ignore the print and focus on oneself and one\'s own recovery.
But focus we must; we don\'t know another\'s path.
Sometimes it seems like folks will burst right through their denial into an \"I know it all and my eyes are wide open and i want yours to be too\" phase.
We just can\'t know everything about addiction; that\'s why there\'s so much written and said about it. There are almost as many situations are there are folks in it. Generalizing or predicting is hazardous.
I just keep J and you and hus. in my prayers.