Reflecting

I just want to say thank you to all who are praying for my mother, and your comments.  Christine said something that made me think, and I'd like to publically respond.  She said about protecting the ones you love by not involving them in going to the doctor, etc.  I understand that because I am a mother, and an overprotective one at that.   But in my 50 years of searching for questions from God, I have come to understand that by SHARING my experience with others it sometimes helps them.  When I was writing my updates I got so many replies from people who wanted to share it with me, so they could pray, or help in some other way.  It is humbling to accept help, and we think we are supposed to be the strong ones, but if we never let anyone help us, how can they serve their purpose?   My 18 year old daughter and I are much closer now because of her helping me through my time, and she is so much stronger and has learned independence, and now knows what steps to take care of her own health.  She has seen me at my worst, and has found compassion and caring for me and other cancer patients.  She also understands the importance of getting early checkups since this is so hereditary. I learned a long time ago that if you do not accept a gift graciously, you are taking the joy of giving away from the giver. I hurt more because my mom is not letting me help her in this.  I feel more distant from her and angry because she will not tell me what is going on.  I understand that she may want her privacy, but she is putting walls up against me, not protecting me.  She is actually pushing me away by being so secretive.   I can see if you have small children who do not understand the significance of what you are going through, so you need to use common sense in deciding how much to tell.  When my oldest son who is 29 first found out, he was very upset, but then as he saw me and talked to me each day, he realized that this is a part of my life, and we also grew closer as he was not so scared anymore.  In fact, it has bettered my relationship with all three kids, including my husband who shared the entire experience with me staying at Hope Lodge.  The boys didn't want to know as many details, but they appreciated knowing that I wasn't going to die the very next day, and I had a great attitude which I think they came to admire.  I even found humor at times which was a true Godsend. So that is my thoughts on this, and it may not be for everyone, but I thank you for letting me get this off my chest.